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Tuesday, February 8, 2011

The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin



I picked up this book today from the library.  I have already read through part of it - and I love it.  It's a bit academic and if you are not a reader, you might need a dictionary.  However, I swear this girl and I might just be sisters because in some ways, it's like reading my own thoughts in a book.  I have only gotten through the first couple of chapters and - already - have my own happiness project planned.  That will come in the next post.

For now - let me share a few quotes from the first part of the book.

"I had much to be happy about.  I was married to Jamie, the tall, dark, and handsome love of my life; we had two delightful young daughters, seven-year-old Eliza and one-year-old Eleanor; I was a writer, after having started out as a lawyer; I was living in my favorite city, New York; I had close relationships with my parents, sister, and in-laws; I had friends; I had my health; I didn't have to color my hair.  But too often I sniped at my husband or the cable guy.  I felt dejected after even a minor professional setback.  I drifted out of touch with my friends, I lost my temper easily, I suffered bouts of melancholy, insecurity, listlessness, and free-floating guilt."

"I wasn't depressed and I wasn't having a midlife crisis, but I was suffering from midlife malaise - a recurrent sense of discontent and almost a feeling of disbelief."

"But though at times I felt dissatisfied, that something was missing, I also never forgot how fortunate I was.  When I woke up in the middle of the night, as I often did, I'd walk from one room to another to gaze at my sleeping husband tangled in the sheets and my daughters surrounded by their stuffed animals, all safe.  I had everything I could possibly want - yet I was failing to appreciate it.  Bogged down in petty complaints and passing crises, weary of struggling with my own nature, I too often failed to comprehend the splendor of what I had.  I didn't want to keep taking these days for granted.  The words of the writer Colette had haunted me for years:  'What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner.'  I didn't want to look back, at the end of my life or after some great catastrophe, and think, 'How happy I used to be then, if only I'd realized it"

"I needed to think about this.  How could I discipline myself to feel grateful for my ordinary day? How could I set a higher standard for myself as a wife, a mother, a writer, a friend? How could I let go of everyday annoyances to keep a larger, more transcendent perspective?"

"All these thoughts flooded through my mind, and as I sat on that crowded bus, I grasped two thing:  I wasn't as happy as I could be, and my life wasn't going to change unless I made it change.  In that single moment, with that realization, I decided to dedicate a year trying to be happier."

And on that note - the Happiness Project was born.  I haven't read the entire book and I know the author and I don't agree - or at least don't see from the same perspective - spiritually.  However - that does not mean she didn't come up with one brilliant idea.

I'm a goal oriented person and before the first chapter was read, I had already created a chart in my head.  How could I, the person much like the author who was not unhappy but could be happier, really focus - really work towards - making those areas in my life I struggle with - how could I make those - well - happier?

I will share with you in the next post what I have come up with.  There will be a new category - called My Happiness Project where I will place all posts regarding this.  Some I will borrow from the book, some I will make on my own.  Let's see where this takes us!  What do you think??  Wanna jump in??

1 comment:

Jackie Koll said...

I just glanced through both this post and your second post and it kinda got me excited. I think I need to pick up that book and read it. Hopefully I can read through both of your posts without little faces in mine ;-) later tonight and actually comprehend what I'm reading!

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