Marriage Thoughts

It's not unusual for people to tell me how much they envy the love Marty and I have for each other.  I've been asked more than once what our secret is.  We do love each other more than anything.  He is the light of my life, my soul mate and my everything - next to the Lord.  Without him, I would be utterly lost.  Let me give you some tips on what we do today to help keep the spark alive.

1.  Laugh.  A lot.  We tease each other all the time.  Marty comes by this naturally.  He is a goofy guy and he keeps things light around here. We make it a point to laugh because life without laughter is utterly boring!

2.  Serve.  Marty is not the type of man to come home and sit around on his butt all the time.  Even though I am a stay at home Mom with kids in school all day - by the time he has gotten home from work, I've run at least one child somewhere, we've started homework, I've listened & advised, made dinner, cleaned the house, paid bills, taken care of the animals, run a million errands - it's not like I sit around on my butt all day.  Marty comes home - and he gets to work.  He'll pick up, help with dinner, keep the kids going on their homework, help run the night shift of running kids everywhere (lol).  If I had a man that came home and said "Where's my dinner woman?" and promptly sat in a recliner with the remote in his hand - he would not be eating dinner - he would be eating the remote.  I couldn't take it.  Marty jumps right in.  2 is always better than 1.  When he does this - I can relax - thus making me a much more agreeable person after the kids go to bed if you catch my drift.

3.  Compliment.  We build each other, not tear each other down.  At home, in public.  Always.  We text compliments, we say compliments, we e-mail compliments.  We put it on Facebook (sometimes quite intentionally), I post on my blog.  We never. ever. tear each other down to our friends.  I can NOT stand this when I hear other women do it.  Build your man up - don't tear him down.  If you made a bad choice and he's not the man you wish he was - too bad.  Suck it up - deal with the choice you made - and pay the man a few compliments - and then pray that God will change him from the inside out.  Find one trusted friend to vent to - but that's it.  Verbally love on each other until your kids are rolling their eyes.  Trust me folks, this works.

4.  Have each other's backs.  Marty says one thing you have to say about me is I'm loyal.  I am loyal.  Tear down a friend in front of me and you'll see what happens.  Tear down my man in front of me - and you better not be within swinging range.  I'm not kidding.  I am fiercely loyal.  I am crazy loyal.  I don't care if my guy is right or he is wrong - I have his back.  He needs this and he loves this trait in me.

5.  Don't neglect the bedroom.  In this week 3 of praise - you've seen that in other posts.  No need to repeat it here.  It's the love language most men speak.

6.  God must be the center of your marriage.  I have to admit something here.  Marty and I are not good at doing devotionals or praying together.  It is an area in need of drastic improvement.  I will also say this is my fault.  I allow busyness to get in the way and this shouldn't be.  We do pray for each other on a regular basis.  This year, I am going to let go of my uncomfortableness in this area and make this a priority.  I can't wait to see what God will do!

7.  Date nights.  Another area we have not always been good in.  For us, it's because of finances.  We just don't have the money to go out every week like we would like.  Right now, for example, I really want to spend a few days away with just the 2 of us - but we can't afford a hotel room for 2 nights right now.  One day, if I have money ever - I think it would be great to create some kind of marriage retreat place for people to get away for super cheap - like 20 bucks a night or something!  Anyway - as often as possible, have a date night without the kids.  We have gotten creative.  One date night we do monthly is the blizzard club date night.  Go to Dairy Queen and sign up - it's free.  Once a month we get a coupon for a buy 1/get 1 blizzard.  So - we use it - and for like 3.50 - go have ice cream together.  We also know Monday nights are free as the kids are in youth group.  Recently, we've  decided Monday night is our date night - at home.  We might play games, cook a delicious dessert - whatever - it's home - and it's free.

All righty my friends - this has gotten incredibly long.  I don't think I'm ever going to get good at short posts!!

What about you?  What do you do to keep your marriage alive and well??