Beyond a Shadow of Doubt

Last night I attended a women's ministry event and the speaker spoke on living beyond a shadow of doubt.  I kept singing bibleman (in my head) - for those of you who remember  "Shadow, of doubt".  But that has nothing to do with this post.

Anywho - when I heard the topic previous to the event, I thought, I'll go, talk to some friends, but I don't think this message will have much to do with me.

Mmmm hmmm.  It did.  A whole bunch.

I'm going to attempt to paraphrase some of what she said here.  I apologize, I don't know the name of the speaker - it was a video and I believe it's from Proverbs 31 ministries.  If any of you know, let me know and I'll put it up here.

The speaker shared a personal story of being asked to speak at a women's conference.  She struggled with feelings of inadequacy.  She even tried to back out of it.  She shared the story of Gideon - who - reminded me a lot of me.  God told him to do something, Gideon doubted if it was REALLY God telling him (how many times have I said that very thing) to go.

God called Gideon a mighty warrior - while he was hiding in a wine press.  (As the speaker said - not real mighty there Gideon!) God saw who he could be - not who he was in that moment.  God was very patient with Gideon as Gideon asked him repeatedly for signs to confirm God's call on his life.  Once Gideon removed himself from the shadow of doubt, God did mighty things through him.

There are many, many times, in my life that I doubt God's call.  I'm not good enough, I'm not well-spoken enough, I'm terrified of speaking publicly despite God giving me a tremendous testimony of His faithfulness.   So much doubt, so little faith in the God I serve to come through in spite of me.

I really knew the message was for me when the speaker shared this:

"God has called me to preach good news to the poor, God has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,  God has called me to proclaim freedom for the captives."

Those are my verses!  At this point, I was in tears as God was gently reminding me what He has called me to do.

I don't know if I will ever live without doubt in my life.  It plagues me - always speaking lies into my heart.  Maybe this is my cross to bear - because if I could do things on my own - maybe I would easily take the credit instead of giving the glory to God.

The message spoke to my heart and I told God - when He calls - I will do my very best to move forward in His strength, in His courage - and allow Him to move through me in mighty ways.  I am a mighty warrior - and like Gideon, God is patient with me too.