All I can be is....me

Today I was on Facebook and saw pictures from another lady I know who is one terrific Mom.  It appears she had some kind of dinner party for her kids at her house, invited all their friends, rented a tent and cooked a great meal.  The kids were all dressed up. 

Can I be honest?  (Sorry friend - I love you!)  My first reaction?  Jealousy.  Jealous that I hadn't thought of it, jealous I don't have the money for it, jealous she has the ability to do things I can't do as a Mom. I sat and compared all I am not - to all she is.  Let me set the record straight - she's a good friend and she truly is an awesome Mom.  This is NOT to rip on her - but rather, to point something out for all of us.

As I sat and degraded myself in my head, and thought of a few other Moms who I feel out-do me as a Mom, something began to dawn on me.

All I can be ..... is me.

Why is it we can spend soooo much time thinking of our faults - but never think of our strengths?  Why is it so easy to see the negative, and not the positive?  Why, when people compliment us on a job well done, do we run down a list of our screw-ups?  I know this is something I struggle with!

So - on that note - I'm going to do something different.  Instead of think of all the negatives - I'm going to point out some positives.  Some things I do well, and right.  If you know me - you know - this is hard for me.  I don't brag, I rarely say anything positive about myself - but - that needs to change because although I am far from the perfect Mom - I do the best job I possibly can.  So, here goes.

1.  I had nothing - no background on good parenting.  I grew up in a nightmare of a home.  Yet - I stopped the nightmare. Through and in Jesus Christ, I broke the generational curse.  If I have done nothing else right as a parent - this I have done oh so right and my kids - know it or not - are blessed for it.

2.  I am fiercely protective and fiercely loyal.  No one.  No one.  No one.  Messes with my kids.  No one.  I do not have a flight mode.  I only have a stand and fight mode.  My kids tease me about it - but one day - they will appreciate this in me and Lord willing, will be the same for their kids.

Break here - okay.  So now I find myself in tears.  I can't explain it - but writing this - is hard.  For every positive, I think of a thousand negatives.  I need to work on this.  Moving along now.

3.  With Marty, we have taught them to love the world.  To love people.  To see people for what is on the inside instead of judging the outside.  We have done this consciously and we are now beginning to see the fruits of our labor.  Our kids are missions oriented,  have gentle spirits and kind hearts because we have taught them that.  We have done well.

4.  I love them with everything I am.  I hope they know this.  No one loves my babies (except Marty) more than I do.  I might not always be good at showing it, and sometimes not so good at saying it - but boy do I love them.  My entire life goal growing up was to be their Mom.  Nothing could make me happier.  I never wanted a career - I just wanted kids. 

5.  I take good care of them. I cook, clean, do everything for them.  Honestly, to a fault.  But we're not going to talk about faults here - we're only going to talk about good.  I do everything for my kids and do it to the best of my ability.

Okay - that's good for now.  Please don't leave me a slew of compliments 'cause then I'm going to feel all weird and awkward - lol. 

I might not be a dinner party thrower.  I might not be the social queen bee Mom involved in everything in the community (that's not a slam on anyone really!!).  I might not be part of the PTA or the brownie troop leader.  I might not be a size 6 and a beauty queen Mom - but I am the best me I can be.

What about you?  Share some things with us you feel you've done RIGHT :)  I would love to hear from you.