For I know the plans

Change - is not easy.  I kick and scream against it.  I like things the way they are. I like things predictable and I don't like when a wrench gets thrown in anything.  I have things planned out and I expect them to go as planned.  Look out when they don't!

This past few months, our family has grown closer through some significant changes.  All good - but all very, very hard.

Sometimes in life, we think we know what's best for us.  We think we know what is best for our kids, for their futures.  We arrange our lives around them.  We, quite honestly, spend very little time stopping and actually asking GOD what might be best for them.  We just plow ahead and expect God to follow along.  Sometimes - we don't even know we're doing it.  Then, we pray God's will be done and when it IS done - it's a major shock and we just don't know what in the world He's doing!  We didn't really want His will - we wanted ours with His stamp of approval.

As you know, if your a regular reader, little man is a soccer player and a good one.  His whole life, we have arranged our lives around his "career".  He likes it - we haven't been those idiot parents that determine their kid is better than anyone else and that's all there is to it and then push them into something they don't want to do.  It was his love as much as it was ours.  It was his talent, his gifting and we were thankful for it especially considering school just wasn't his gig.

His whole life, we have traveled, we have paid, we have built our lives around the fact that one day, he would move on to play high school ball and then, if he wanted, college ball.  Then he didn't make the high school team this fall.  I don't know why and honestly that is another story not for blog land and not for the point of this post.

The point is this.  We thought we knew what was best for Jon.  We really did.  We encouraged, drove, bought uniforms, socks, shoes - supported what was His dream - for years.  Yet God - in His greater understanding of our sons future - had other plans.

When we first received the news - we were all devastated - little man the most.  We did not see that one coming - not even close.  My heart broke for my child.  It seemed as if his future was crushed and now everything we have done all these years was for nothing.

Now, 2 months later - I have come to realize a few things.

I prayed for God's will to be done - but I didn't really mean it at the time.  But now - now I see what God is doing.  Now I see a greater purpose unfolding.  Now, I get it.  Maybe not in full - but in part.  I see a more balanced child.  I see a child that actually is learning to love learning.  I see a child getting good grades in school - and realizing soccer - is just not everything.  I see a young man loving on others in Special Olympics and taking his skills and teaching others - and he is oh so good at it.  I see a young man willing to explore other options in his life - find other talents he has. I see someone who now has the time to go on missions trips, try out for the football team or the golf team or the whatever team.  I see a child dreaming of all life could be and not trying to fit it into a very narrow box.

At the same time - we are watching our daughter struggle.  I don't want to put her out there so I'll just say this.  She was the one who we thought would embrace the major change in her life - college - and have no trouble whatsoever with it.  We thought she would run into this new life and never look back.  She has gone the opposite direction and although it is hard for her - I do see God working in her at this difficult point.  I know that although she is in the midst of the question of what God's will IS - going through all this with our son - makes me realize that God's perfect plan will soon reveal itself to her and she, too, will get it.  As a side note - she wrote on my husband's facebook wall today after going swing dancing last night "I realized tonight that I suck at dancing with anybody but you.  Miss you daddy" - yeah - I cried and I'm crying again.  Oh how much we miss her and how much our heart aches for her.

Jeremiah 29:11 says this:  For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord.  Plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  Plans to give you a hope and a future.

God's plans - not ours.  Sometimes we can't see it - but we must trust that God has our best in mind.  He is going to give us a great hope and a great future.  We need to lean into His arms when change comes that we are not expecting and embrace this truth.  His good and perfect will is always - always better than our plans.