Time?

Last night I dreamed about my father.  I don't dream of him often, especially not with such clarity.  He was blind and couldn't see me.  I watched him from across the room, wondering who he had become.  In the end of the dream, I ran out to the limo he had come in and leaned into the car and said "Dad, this is Tami.  I just want you to know I forgive you."  He said "okay", stared straight ahead and that was it.  Then I woke up.

As I lay in bed thinking about the dream - wondering if there was some meaning to it or if it was just another dream, I began to feel as if God was telling me it was time.  Time to tell my story.  Time to write a book.  Time.  I've thought about that a lot in the past - but have never gotten past a few chapters.  I lose direction, lose focus and quite honestly - my head hurts after a while!!

I decided to give it a shot tonight.  4,000 words later, I have a start.  As I've said - I've been in this spot before.  I don't find talking about my past difficult - quite the opposite honestly.  Yet, I get tired, cranky, overwhelmed.  I get a headache, I just want to go to bed.  Good indicator that it's harder on me on some level than I think on another.

I don't know if it's really time to put it all into words.  It's hard to know where to go with it.  More than anything, I want the love of Jesus to shine through.  I want people to know of a God who loves them so very much - of a God who breaks chains and heals brokenness.  It's a stark contrast to the earthly father I knew and I want only to speak with a clarity people will grasp.  At the same time, I really don't want to sink into some depression while writing it all out.

Anywho.  We'll see what becomes of it.  I thought about giving you it here chapter by chapter - but if I ever really do publish this thing, I don't want someone stealing it off my blog before it hits the desk of an editor :)

Will you join me in praying God makes it clear if it is time to get that book out?  And if so, that He would provide the direction? 

Thanks :)