Cry Out

Lately, it seems God is taking me on a journey.  A journey of learning empathy for others - to feel their pain as if it is my own.  It's a different journey as I've always thought of myself as a compassionate person - yet - I can't say in the past I've always been able to cry with people.  Crying - well - it's just not my thing.

However.

Today I was talking to another lady at bible study - we're pretty much in the same stage in life.  Both of our girls went off to college.  Both of us have great relationships with our daughters.  Both of us are left with boy(s) at home, right around the same age.  The testosterone in our homes if flying - I don't see her and her daughter as any more "girly" than Elyse and I - there is - well - something missing about not having our girls in the home.

When Elyse came home this week, she came into my bedroom to find me crying.  It had been a long night and I was weepy.  As my friend and I said - having our oldest off to college has turned us into overly-sensitive crying nut jobs which really wasn't part of either of our personalities prior to this experience.  I happen to know one other lady who is equally in the same stage of life and Sunday morning all it took was mentioning the kids going back to college and her eyes filled with tears.

Aye.  WHY did NO ONE inform us this stage of life would suck stink so much??? 

Wow am I getting off track here.

Back to my point.  Having my oldest off to college and having some close family and friends going through some tough points in life is teaching me a few things.  In bible study today, Beth Moore drove it home.

She said when you stop having troubles, you cease to be effective in ministry.  She pointed out repeatedly how we all have troubles in life - even those whom you think have it all together.  She warned against pride when you think how glad you are to not be as bad off as someone else or you would "NEVER have their problems!"  (Yes, I'm guilty of thinking that!)

Never have I had so much trouble putting a post together before! Too many thoughts all cramming into a very small space called my brain!!
The point is this.  I've sat with some very dear people recently and listened to their hearts.  Sat and listened to prayer requests that would totally rock my world if it were my grief to bear.  Never before have I found tears running down my eyes and gut wrenching sobs pouring out of me when I get out of sight.  Never.  It's not me!  I honestly have wondered if I've hit some kind of depression or something because let me tell you - this woman is a ROCK.

But the rock is crumbling and I don't know that it's all so bad.  It hurts, it leaves me feeling vulnerable, it leaves me very much afraid of things going wrong in my own life - yet - yet in the midst of all of that - I realize God is softening me.  Slowly but surely chipping away at my wall  rock and allowing me to really turn to Him in prayer for others.  Not my typical "oh God, please help so and so as they deal with such and such" - just flying through, glad it ain't me, glad I didn't make those "stupid" choices to put me in that spot - prayers that were anything but heartfelt - but crying out to Jesus for others.  Literally.  No pride, no judgement, no condemnation - just calling out to the one who has all the answers that I don't.

Let me leave you with this song and an apology.  An apology because this post was rough, I know.  The song - because I love it and maybe you will too.  It's called Cry Out to Jesus and it's by Third Day