Beautiful Things

There are many beautiful things in life.  Sunsets, beaches, turquoise waters.  The first snowfall, a pine grove forest, mountains.  Rays of sunshine in unexpected places, a child's smile.  God has truly made this world a beautiful place if we choose to look in the right direction.

I spent some time recently in a unique classroom.  As my friends know, I've been picking up more and more special education subbing jobs.  I was intimidated at first - unsure of myself, lacking confidence, feeling like I didn't have enough knowledge to reach out to these hurting kids.  What would I do when chaos ensued?  Would I be able to handle it?

I've had cabinets cleared and my head barely missed, I've been kicked at, my hair pulled, "advances" by young boys who just don't understand what they are doing or saying.  I leave most days with a headache and tears.  Every day, I work very hard.  Some days are better than others.  I've had times where kids have screeched the entire day.  I've had many days I've stared into blank and empty eyes.  I've been called some nasty names and I've been called some beautiful ones as well.

When I was younger, I would have thought all of these things would have sent me running in fear or leaving in anger.  But that's not the case.  When you know children are lost inside their own heads - you can take just about anything.  I pray through every day, arrive early to sit at each individual desk and pray if at all possible.  I often walk by a child who seems to live in another reality and whisper a gentle prayer for their complete and total healing.  I don't know that I could make it through some days without being in constant communication with my father.

I see beauty every day I work with one of these amazing children.  I see it when they connect with me - if only for a moment.  I see it in their kind words and their beautiful smiles.  I see it when they are throwing the biggest fit you've ever seen, and a gentle touch on their arm or hand grabs their attention and they suddenly quiet.  I see it when they do a math problem correctly or write a word I can understand.  I see it when they take their magnet letters and after spending an entire day making no sense at all, suddenly write out words in their letters such as "True Love Kisses". 

There are many beautiful things in this world - but these moments I cherish.  I think of this verse - and although it doesn't apply completely - it does remind me of these kids:  I Corinthians 13:12:  We don't yet see things clearly.  We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist.  But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright!  We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing Him directly as He knows us."

They don't see things clearly.  You can tell by looking in their eyes.  They are squinting in a fog, peering through a mist.  But it won't be long!  One day - and one day soon - the weather will clear and the son (intended) will shine bright.  They'll see it then - as clearly as God sees them - and they will know Him directly - as directly as He knows them.

To me - that is a beautiful thing.

Ticket to Ride

I play this game called Ticket To Ride.  If you've never played it before - you should.  It's addicting.  Basically the idea is to make it from one place to another on a map.  You are given destination tickets and trains. If you fail to make it from point A to point B before you or someone else runs out of trains, you are deducted points.  You play with other people who are also trying to make it to their destinations and sometimes your route gets blocked.

Today I was playing - relaxing - and a thought occurred to me.

Sometimes life is like my Ticket To Ride game.  Sometimes the path from point A to point B is easy, not met with any resistance.  Sometimes you sail right through, nothing gets in your way.  Sometimes, though, the path from point A to point B is not so clear.  Things block your view, circumstances force you to turn a different direction than you were originally intending on going.  Sometimes, you don't make it to your destination at all.

Those times are hard.  Times when you get thrown off the direction you were heading or the direction you were taking your family.  Jobs, kids, illness, money - it can all throw you off track and de-rail your train.  Sometimes we have to take detours to get where we are going.  Sometimes it seems that no matter what direction we turn, something else stands in our way.

But in those times, a verse comes to mind.  Romans 8:28.  Most of us know it - but for those of us who don't - it goes like this:  For we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

In all things.  In all circumstances.  In all the stuff of life that threatens to drown and overwhelm us.  When we can't see his mighty hand - it is then that He holds us up - or - sends others to come alongside and be our strength.  All things - loss, bad finances, dead dreams, hurts, struggles, depression, and the list goes - but in all things God is working for the good of those who love Him.

We have been called for a purpose - His purpose - and no matter where the road takes us - no matter what throws us off our intended path - He loves us.  Even though we sometimes can not see where to turn next, when the pain threatens to drown - He is still there - taking us around, over, under - through.

This post is for me as much as it's for anyone else.  I needed this reminder.  Maybe you do too.

Cry Out

Lately, it seems God is taking me on a journey.  A journey of learning empathy for others - to feel their pain as if it is my own.  It's a different journey as I've always thought of myself as a compassionate person - yet - I can't say in the past I've always been able to cry with people.  Crying - well - it's just not my thing.

However.

Today I was talking to another lady at bible study - we're pretty much in the same stage in life.  Both of our girls went off to college.  Both of us have great relationships with our daughters.  Both of us are left with boy(s) at home, right around the same age.  The testosterone in our homes if flying - I don't see her and her daughter as any more "girly" than Elyse and I - there is - well - something missing about not having our girls in the home.

When Elyse came home this week, she came into my bedroom to find me crying.  It had been a long night and I was weepy.  As my friend and I said - having our oldest off to college has turned us into overly-sensitive crying nut jobs which really wasn't part of either of our personalities prior to this experience.  I happen to know one other lady who is equally in the same stage of life and Sunday morning all it took was mentioning the kids going back to college and her eyes filled with tears.

Aye.  WHY did NO ONE inform us this stage of life would suck stink so much??? 

Wow am I getting off track here.

Back to my point.  Having my oldest off to college and having some close family and friends going through some tough points in life is teaching me a few things.  In bible study today, Beth Moore drove it home.

She said when you stop having troubles, you cease to be effective in ministry.  She pointed out repeatedly how we all have troubles in life - even those whom you think have it all together.  She warned against pride when you think how glad you are to not be as bad off as someone else or you would "NEVER have their problems!"  (Yes, I'm guilty of thinking that!)

Never have I had so much trouble putting a post together before! Too many thoughts all cramming into a very small space called my brain!!
The point is this.  I've sat with some very dear people recently and listened to their hearts.  Sat and listened to prayer requests that would totally rock my world if it were my grief to bear.  Never before have I found tears running down my eyes and gut wrenching sobs pouring out of me when I get out of sight.  Never.  It's not me!  I honestly have wondered if I've hit some kind of depression or something because let me tell you - this woman is a ROCK.

But the rock is crumbling and I don't know that it's all so bad.  It hurts, it leaves me feeling vulnerable, it leaves me very much afraid of things going wrong in my own life - yet - yet in the midst of all of that - I realize God is softening me.  Slowly but surely chipping away at my wall  rock and allowing me to really turn to Him in prayer for others.  Not my typical "oh God, please help so and so as they deal with such and such" - just flying through, glad it ain't me, glad I didn't make those "stupid" choices to put me in that spot - prayers that were anything but heartfelt - but crying out to Jesus for others.  Literally.  No pride, no judgement, no condemnation - just calling out to the one who has all the answers that I don't.

Let me leave you with this song and an apology.  An apology because this post was rough, I know.  The song - because I love it and maybe you will too.  It's called Cry Out to Jesus and it's by Third Day



Touch my heart

This past fall, we began coaching a Special Olympics team.  I've shared with you some of the funnies and some of the things that have touched my heart.  I can't believe we did this - but last night was the team pizza party - and Marty and I TOTALLY forgot about it and never showed up.  There are 2 other coaches thankfully but I just can't believe we did this.

Special Olympics has lead me to do something else new in my life and that was to switch from being a general ed substitute to a special ed substitute.  I've been very busy, getting several calls a day which is a good, good thing.  Today I woke up sick and ended up at the Dr. - I have strep throat so I'll be off for the rest of this week.

Anyway - teaching in a special education classroom is an entirely different animal than teaching in the regular ed classroom. I'm not going to share with you names here, nor districts, nor schools, nor any identifying information as that would totally break all confidentiality laws as well as just being stupid on my part.

It requires patience.  A lot of patience.  You will be argued with, you will most likely get hit to some degree at some point, your hair will be pulled, you will be defied, screamed at.  This observation has been made in a week from what I've already witnessed and from stories other teachers have shared with me.  You must keep in mind these children can not help it - and that's obvious the moment you meet them.  It's as if some of them are locked somewhere far away in their minds and reality is just not the place they want to be.

It's sad.  Incredibly sad.  In all honesty - I have left the building crying every single day this past week.  Asking God why.  Why do children have to suffer?  I have prayed over every one of them silently, asking for complete healing and for strength on their journey.  I have prayed for their parents because I can not imagine how difficult it must be for them - in so many ways.  It must be exhausted - physically, emotionally.

There is so much to learn and the teachers are overwhelmed. So many needs to be meet.  One of the classrooms I was in had 13, another 9 - 3 teachers in each of the classrooms.  You would think that would be enough,  Reality is, it doesn't touch the surface.  Not even close.  Their learning issues vary greatly - some with very minor issues, some unable to communicate - as I said - locked away somewhere in their own minds.  One of the young people I met this past week has just begun to communicate.  He's 10 years old.

Every day when I get in the car and drive home, crying - I think to myself  "you don't have to do this."  But, I do.  I do because I believe in keeping things real.  I believe in reaching where it hurts.  I believe putting ourselves in uncomfortable and difficult situations shows us the heart of God.  I'm no one special - trust me - but I believe doing things like this is what God would do.  I want to touch the world the way He does - and in the process, keep my heart broken for this world.  If it's hard - that's good.  In the hard places, we see the greatest moves of God.

Touch my heart oh God so I can touch others for You.

"It's my evil side"

Funny story.  Last weekend when we were coaching state finals for our Special Olympics teams, one of our kids totally hacked another kid and took him out.  He laughed loud and proud with an evil laugh.  We've been told before that the evil laugh is not a good sign, so one of the other coaches pulled him out.

As the coach pulled this player aside to try to talk, he asked the the kid "Why did you do that?" This is how he responded:  "It's my evil side and I LIKE it"

It was funny - and I must say - the coach handled it so well.  He didn't laugh, didn't yell, just tried to make him see that an attitude like that is going to result in not playing.

I've been thinking about this statement for a few days now.  This young man does not have the social filters you and I have - so he says what he thinks.  We may look at him and think of how awful he is for saying that, or how we would never think that way because we don't have the same issues this young man does - but can we be honest in that?

How many times have we smiled when someone has gotten what they do - or don't - deserve?  I know I'm not alone in this.  There have been times when certain people in my life who have done me wrong have finally gotten what's coming to them - and - honestly - there have been moments that it DOES make me HAPPY.  Which, I know, is wrong - but it's true.

How many times in our lives do we actually LIKE our evil side? Don't be too quick to say never. 

Sometimes we DO enjoy evil - for a season.  Sometimes it APPEARS to feel GOOD when we do things we know displease God.  In the moment - sin - seems appetizing.

But much like our player had to learn this past weekend - sin - our evil side - has consequences.  The consequences are different depending on the sin - but we all end up "out of the game" so to speak until we calm down and realize what we have done or are doing is wrong.  We have to apologize to "the coach", ask for forgiveness, don't repeat our sin and get back in the game.

Romans 7:14-25

The Message (MSG)

 ^14-16I can anticipate the response that is coming: "I know that all God's commands are spiritual, but I'm not. Isn't this also your experience?" Yes. I'm full of myself—after all, I've spent a long time in sin's prison. What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary.
 ^17-20But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.
 ^21-23It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.
 ²⁴I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?
 ²⁵The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.

New Name

In Maharashtra state, India, local officials held a renaming ceremony for some 200 girls.  They were given new names as their old names given to them at birth meant "unwanted".    You can read more about the ceremony here.


It's sad.   To be given a name that would mark you, in that society, for the rest of your life - awful.  Who would do that to a child?  It would be equivalent to naming a child here in America "garbage" or "trash" or "wish you were never born".  From the beginning of your life, you would know you were not welcome.  Can you imagine?


I think it's awesome this state in India has recognized how damaging this is and has given these girls a chance to re-name themselves.  In doing that, they have allowed them to dream, allowed them to see all they could be instead of all they have been told they are.  Kudos to the local officials for caring about girls and lifting them up.  


It reminded me of Ezekiel 36:26:  I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.


This is what Jesus does for us when we give our hearts and lives to him.  He gives us a new name, a new heart, a new spirit.  He removes our hearts of stone and gives us hearts of flesh.  He tells us know we are not garbage, trash, unwanted, unwelcome.  He allows us to see who He sees us as instead of who we have been told by this world we are.  


Have you been re-named by Jesus?  Have you allowed Him to remove your heart of stone?  Have you heard your new name yet?  All you have to do is ask.  He's willing to give it to you if only you would give your life to Him.  Come - take part in the renaming ceremony!

Dance with the devil

Be happy, you didn't get this post last year.

But - this year - you are getting the post :)

October is upon us.  My least favorite holiday, Halloween, is fast approaching (stick with me people, stick with me).  I don't watch tv hardly ever anymore so I can't comment on how downhill the programming has gone this month ;)  Lucky you!!

No, actually, this post is not going to be a slam on Halloween - well - depending on your perspective.  But - I'm going to do something I don't think I've done here before and that's to share my personal reasons for disliking Halloween as much as I do.  I'll spare you the history lesson as to why I think that as Christians, we should steer clear of the Halloween madness and just share with you why I've made the decision not to celebrate Halloween.

I'm trying, I'm really trying people!!

When I was growing up, my Dad thought the Ouija board was "fun".  He also enjoyed horror flicks and we watched them a lot - The Shining, The Exorcist, Nightmare on Elm Street - you name it, I think I probably saw it.  We did the whole Halloween thing.  My father found it "amusing" to scare us at every possible turn.  I became afraid of "things that go bump in the night."  I would try to use my mind to move things.  I remember being afraid of shadows.  I remember feeling like the door would close, like a chair would be on top of the table none of us had put there (quite sure that was in one of the movies).  I had horrific nightmares of satanic rituals that I still, to this day, remember with great clarity.  At times, I could literally feel an evil presence in the room.  Call me crazy - but this is my experience.

I don't remember after I left home at what point I decided to stop watching horror flicks once it became my choice.  The Ouija board was freaky so I never touched that thing - yet I was still drawn.  Eerily drawn to things like that - horoscopes (yes, I went there), future telling, I don't know - it just had a pull on me I can't explain.  It terrified me - and it pulled me.

Well into my marriage, I was afraid - especially at night.  I would wake up crying, shaking, and sometimes screaming from the nightmares.  I could feel evil - sense it.  When Marty and I were dating, I specifically remember an incident of swearing someone was in the room with me when we were staying at his parents house.  At some point in the night, I woke up with "something" (aka demon) in my face.  I was not asleep - I was awake - held down, choking with fear.  I remember finally sprinting to Marty's room to wake him up.  It was real and I was not delusional.

We celebrated Halloween when the kids were little.  I didn't see anything wrong with it.  I thought as long as I didn't dress my kids up like the devil, a ghost, or something evil and scary - then I was in the clear.  No big deal, it's all in fun.  No one is going to hell over it, right?  It's not like we're worshipping satan or anything. (oh how rich I would be if I could collect on every time someone throws that in my face)  There's nothing in the bible about it, is there? 

Okay, back to my personal reflection.  Yes - there IS something in the bible about it - but for now, we'll move along.

I remember when Elyse was just a baby - maybe 3 - we went to visit some friends.  He was from England - and in England - if I remember correctly - Christians don't celebrate Halloween (hmm, I'm not alone).  I thought he was crazy.  He was gracious about it - said the kids were adorable and all that - but it was a seed planted.  Then, we moved here and another friend shared with me they didn't celebrate Halloween either.  At this point, I began to research and what I learned astounded me.

Finally, after much deliberation, Marty and I decided we were no longer celebrating Halloween.  It was not a popular decision.

The change was dramatic and fast.  Suddenly, I stop being afraid of the night.  I began to learn how to shut the devil out of my sleep.  The bible says God/Jesus will give us rest - and He does.  I learned how to quote scripture in my dreams.  I prayed over our home.  Within 6 months, the nightmares stopped, I stopped waking up to demons in my face and the paralyzing crushing fear was over.

I still sense evil.  I still know when Satan is about to mess with me.  This past year, I was staying somewhere and literally saw something walk across the room that wasn't there.  I knew what was going on.  So did the dog - strangely enough - she went balistic.  Well - when satan messes with me now, it ticks me off - so I  prayed.  Out loud.   Quoted scripture.  This went on for 2 nights - and finally on the third, no more.  I don't mess around and I am not afraid.  I wouldn't say it's "enjoyable" - but I'm not afraid.

Call me crazy people - but if you believe in Jesus - then you have to believe there is a satan.  If you believe in Heaven - then you have to believe there is a Hell.

Now I'll be straight up with you.

Don't dance with the devil.  How do we do this?  Let me lay it out for you.

1.  We watch horror flicks - filling our minds with evil.
2.  We get our palms read, play with tarot cards - the bible is very clear - steer clear.
3.  We read our horoscope.  Only God knows the future.
4.  We play with Ouija boards.  Dance with the devil.
5.  And now I'm going to say it - we celebrate Halloween.  We give satan glory by giving celebration to the day created by him and for him.  We offer up our birthday cakes, sing our songs, while satan blows out our candles - our light that is supposed to shine bright in the darkness. 

I know this post will not make me popular.  Plenty of people disagree.  I've heard it all.  I'll lose followers over this post and probably friends.  I know some very close people who will shake their heads at me or say "well that's fine for you but it doesn't apply to everyone"  or "well we don't mean anything by it - it's just all in good fun!" I can't convince you - only you can take it to the Lord but I will say this.

Satan is not welcome in my home.  My kids don't have gory nightmares because we don't dance with the devil.  My kids aren't tempted by horoscopes or Ouija boards because we don't dance with the devil.  Sleep, in our home, is free of fear - because we don't dance with the devil.  My kids know the rock on which they stand.  They know the power of scripture.  They know the KING that reigns - because we don't dance with the devil.

I would encourage you - highly and strongly encourage you - to put this one to prayer.  I would encourage you to do some research on Halloween - it's history, it's intent.  I believe satan gets a great laugh on this day.

One more thing and then I'll go.  Please don't leave me stupid comments asking me if I celebrate Christmas or if my kids believe in Santa.  I've heard that too.  I'm not going to explain all that here or anywhere.  Read, research - pray.  Then come back to me and we can talk.  I believe once you do those things, you will have a greater appreciation of where I'm coming from - and maybe - if I can say it - maybe you'll change your mind too.

Thanks for sticking with me.  I would apologize for offending - but this one is too serious for me to do that.  I've danced with the devil people - and satan is not a very good partner.

It's NOT FAIR!

This is something I've been struggling with lately.  The fairness of life.

When I feel as if life is unfair, I know all the right things to say, all the right things to think.  I know God has a plan, a purpose and I know I don't see the big picture.  I got all that, yet I still find it hard to understand.  Especially when it comes to those who have done you wrong repeatedly still seeming to come out on top of life while you are left in the dust.  I don't understand God in these moments.  I don't understand when you do what's right and still get - for lack of better terms (sorry, I really can't think of another word!!) - screwed.

It's hard.  I know I'm not alone.  I know this happens to people all the time.  I know it happened in the bible.  I know Jesus was killed and it wasn't fair - the man was without sin.  Can't get anymore unfair than that!

In that - we find our example of how to handle things when life isn't fair.  Jesus died for us - he died for people who spit, who beat, who unjustly accused, who mocked, who got what they didn't deserve.  It wasn't fair - yet he still went to the cross.  I have a tough time loving people that much.  The whole turning the other cheek, love your enemies thing - can I say that's incredibly difficult for me??

Life isn't fair.  If I can have a pity party for a moment - I feel like myself, and my family, have dealt with more than our share of unfairness.  Personally I grow weary of it.  Yet I know I have something to learn from Jesus.  I know I have a long way to grow.  Some days - I don't know how to begin that journey.  Something Joyce Meyer said once in a TV thing I was listening to has stuck with me.  She said your going to keep going through and going through and going through - until you get it - get what He is trying to teach you. That tells me I have a choice - learn in the unfairness - or go through it again.  I'm tired of going through it - so I'm trying to learn from it.

Life is unfair - sometimes more for some than for others.  Some people seem to sail through life without roadblocks - some of us have our share of walls to climb.  I want to find the place in my spiritual walk when I can stop crying "it's not fair!", figure out what He is teaching me, move forward - and let go.  Find the place where fairness doesn't matter.  Lean into Him, trust He's got it under control and move along.

Anyone with me??

Why you should send your kid on a missions trip

Our daughter began taking missions trips at the age of 14.  Out of country.  I hear this statement a lot:  " I would NEVER let my kid do that!  How did you do it??"

When Elyse came home telling us God had told her to take a missions trip out of country - my response was this:  "Well - must be nice - but God didn't tell me that."  Then my wise husband said "don't you think we ought to at least PRAY about it honey?"  Hmm.  Really honey?  PRAY about a MISSIONS trip? What a foreign concept ;)

Most of you have heard the story of how it came to be - but since that time, Elyse has been to 8 countries.  She has been on trips for as short as a week and as long as 2 months.  She can handle airport security and border crossings better than I can.  She is now at North Central University studying to become a full time missionary.

The biggest potential mistake I could have made as a parent boils down to that one decision.  I kid you not.  Telling her no could have changed the course of her life.  My fear could have prevented my daughter, at least for a time, from becoming all God called her to be.

When we were contemplating sending our 14 year old daughter half way around the world, a wise friend said this to me:

I will never stand in the way of what God wants to do in the lives of my children.

I have never forgotten those words.  It was those words that held me together when I dropped my daughter off at the airport, sent her to Dallas, TX for training, helped me as the people who were supposed to pick her up at the airport didn't show and I was 1500 miles away, watched the plane tracker track her flight across oceans, time zones, continents.  It was those words that kept me strong when she came to me time and time again and said "now God is telling me to go here or there".  It was those words that bounced off the back of my brain when she informed me God was calling her to full time missions in a place you can't legally be a missionary.  It will be those words that I cling to the day her dreams come true and she lands on the foreign soil she's been preparing for since the age of 14.

Now it's time for number 2 to begin his missionary journey.  Next summer, he'll head to Guatemala with us and Lord willing, if the youth group goes, to Haiti.  I don't know where God will take him from there - but I know sending our children on missions trips has been the best decision we could have made in our lives.

There are many reasons to send your kid on a missions trip - let me just give you a few.

First, and most importantly, in Mark 16:15, Jesus tells his disciples (msg) "Go into the world.  Go everywhere and announce the message of God's good news to one and all."  Don't you like to hear good news?  Isn't good news the best?  Jesus tells us - not just people over 20 or over 30 or whatever - but he tells ALL of us - young and old - to GO.  Go and tell.  Go into ALL the world - EVERYWHERE.  We let them go - because Jesus commanded it.  Plain and simple. 

Second - it breaks their heart.  Maybe this sounds like a BAD reason and not a good one - yet - sometimes when our hearts are broken, we are the most pliable in God's hands.  There is something almost magical (not magical - don't jump all over me!) about missions trips.  Something about going and doing what God has commanded - stepping out in faith - that opens us up to God even more.  Something about going and being used by Him that draws us closer to His feet.  Isn't that what you want for your child?  To sit longer, gaze harder, into the eyes of Jesus?

Third - it gives them a broader perspective.  It opens their eyes to all of God's creation.  It teaches them how to eat foods they would have otherwise turned their nose up to.  It helps them to learn to trust in God for finances to go.  It shows them how to love all people regardless of race, color or creed.  It gets them out of the box of their local environment.  Again - everyone needs to hear the gospel - maybe YOUR child is the one God has called to give it to someone.  Have you thought about that?  That God has prepared your child to be the one to give the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ?  That maybe your child is the perfect one, with the perfect words, to open someones eyes to all Jesus has done for them?  Your child is called!  Let them go and preach the good news!

Fourth - it makes them thankful.  Thankful for their beds, thankful for the food on their table, thankful for their parents, thankful for their countries.  Thankful.  Lord knows we can all use a more thankful kid!! 

Finally - you never know what God is doing in their lives, in their hearts - for their futures.  You never know what sending your child on a missions trip will do.  Maybe, like Elyse, they will want to pursue a life as a full time missionary.  Maybe they see the need for shelter for people in a foreign country and go on to become carpenters that go and build homes.  Maybe they see how education could help keep people from poverty so they become a teacher.  Maybe they fall in love with an orphan and go open an orphanage or adopt a child here in America.  Maybe they see a need and will grow up with the financial means to give.  You don't know - but God does.  Don't block that for them - allow them to go.

I know this has been a long one and thank you for listening.  If your child ever comes and asks you to go - send them.  Yes, of course, check and check well into the organization they are going with.  And yes - it was very hard - very, very hard.  It's not easy raising the money, it's not easy putting them on the plane, it's not fun to worry.  You'll cry - a lot.  Yet - it's not about you - it's about what God wants to do in and through your child.  Don't let your fear stand in the way of what God has for them.

Good preachin'

This morning we had a good service at church.  We got to hear from some missionaries that are in a Muslim country and live in a neighborhood with Sharia Law.  I have major respect for them.  As much as my heart breaks for Muslim women - I would have a difficult time living under that.  I'm such an opinionated woman - it wouldn't be good.

The best quote of the morning was this and I thought I would share it with you:

The same God that loves the Muslims - loves you.

I'm sure different people got different things from that quote.  In our post 9/11 world, Americans in general are still angry and understandably so.  I thought it was good though to point out that Jesus died for us all - even for those who tried and succeeded in killing our friends, our families.  It's tough, I know, to muster up sympathy and compassion for a people who hurt us the way they have.  I think, honestly, that's why there is never peace in the middle east.  I don't think we get it, truly, not most of us.  To be the bigger man, to forgive and move on, to not retaliate - that, my friends - takes the power of Jesus alone.

As I said - I have a major amount of respect for Christian men and women who could stay in this country, safe and sound - but instead choose to go into a place where they are hated and to show them the love of Jesus.  It's amazing to me.

Say a prayer today for our Muslim friends all over the world.  Only Jesus can remove the veil from their eyes.  Only Jesus can bring peace through Him.  It is only through a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ that the hate will be erased.  Do you know Jesus is appearing to them in their dreams and in visions?  I've read a few stories - it's AWESOME!

Pray also for our missionary friends in harms way.  Pray for their protection.  Pray for their ministry to explode.  Pray for their families as they serve either with them or serve at home on their knees.  Pray they are able to touch the hearts of those blinded by hate.  They need our prayers.

What it takes to be called Daddy

I briefly mentioned this in the previous post - but the more I dwell on it, the more it touches my heart.  I think it deserves a post of it's own.

I case you missed it, I talked about a note our daughter wrote on my husband's Facebook wall this morning.  She's in college this year - a freshman - and last night she went swing dancing with some friends for a birthday party or something.  She wrote this on my husband's wall in the wee hours of the morning:  I learned tonight that I suck at dancing with anybody but you. Miss you daddy. ♥


It sent me into tears instantly.  I called my husband who was on the road to work (probably a bad choice - lol) and he couldn't speak he was crying so hard.


Anyone can be a parent - anyone can be a dad - but it takes someone special to be called daddy by a daughter who is 18.


It makes me so happy.  I didn't have a relationship like that to my father - and watching my husband and daughter - is bittersweet.  How do I explain?  I am beyond happy they have the relationship they do.  It makes me melt and makes me incredibly proud to call Marty my husband.  It makes me see once again what an incredible man he is.  Elyse has a been a daddy's girl from day one.  Her and I are reallllyyy alike.  Marty - he's the opposite of me.  Laid back, chill, hilariously funny.  He loves that girl so stinking much.  She has learned what to expect from a husband by watching the way he treats me and the way he treats her.  I actually feel very sorry for the guy she'll marry one day - I'm not quite sure he will ever live up to the expectations she has set in her mind for someone to be like her Dad.


On the other hand - it's also bitter for me.  I see all I missed out on.  At 18 - I was running from my father.  Literally.  To think of ever writing something like that to him - to have a relationship like that to my father - well - it hurts.  


Anyway - that's not the point of this post.  If you want to know what it takes to be a Daddy and have your daughter say such beautiful things to you at the age of 18 - let me share with you what my husband has done.  There are many things - here are just a few.


When she was little - and even now - they are buddies. No one can make Elyse laugh like her Dad.  They spend time together.  When she was an infant, only Marty could calm her as her seizure medication wore off and kicked back in again.  Hours he would hold her and they would dance around the living room and he would sing in her ear and calm her.  It started when she was 3 days old.  She would scream, he would pick her up and move gently move around the room with her - and soon, she would stop crying.  If he stopped - she would scream again.


Ah man, this post is hard to write.


As she grew, Marty often took her out on "dates".  They attended every daddy/daughter dance they could.  He would buy her flowers, tell her how a man should hold the door for her, pay for her meal, come to the door and not honk the horn.  He would teach her not just by word but action. He would compliment her and tell her how beautiful she was. The would get all duded up to go to the dances.  She would stand on his toes and they would dance the night away.


In her teenage years - she learned by watching how he treated me.  This, men, is the most important thing.  Marty always - without fail - respects me.  We have been married almost 20 years and I can maybe think of only a couple of times he has ever raised his voice to me - and that's probably because I pushed him to that point.  He never talks bad about me to his friends - we always build each other up. He doesn't make crass jokes about me.  What goes on in the bedroom - stays there - it's not open for public discussion.   He still opens doors for me, still pays for our dates (lol), brings me flowers.  He cherishes me and makes me feel like a queen every day of my life.  He's always telling me how beautiful I am - he pours on the compliments even and especially when I don't deserve them.  He is - by far - the biggest servant I have ever met.  He is constantly getting me something to drink, getting me something out of the car I forgot, running all over the house to get whatever I need. He helps around the house.  A real man does dishes, changes poopy diapers and cleans up puke.  No - he's not - what's that saying - "whipped" - he just knows how to serve.  


And can I say another thing?  A real man - cries.  Not all the time, not in a way that makes him weak - but as the saying goes - his heart breaks for the things that break the heart of our heavenly father.  He's not afraid to show when things touch him deeply through emotion.  We tease Marty about this - but truly - it is one of the things we love most.


We never walk around on eggshells in our house waiting for his mood to improve.  Never.  First - I would never allow it - but second and most important - Marty would never in a million years act that way.  Although he loves football - I never have to think on Superbowl Sunday that some stupid football game is going to cause him to be in a foul mood and become abusive.  He doesn't drink, he doesn't do drugs.  


He leads spiritually - reading the word, praying, spending time in church.  Serving others.  Even though I can be "opinionated"  (Marty calls it passionate - lol!) - when push comes to shove - Marty makes the spiritual decisions in our home.  He takes us to church and expects his kids to go.  He leads by example.  


If you want your kids to call you Daddy at 18 - well - at least your daughters - then treat your wife the way you want your future son-in-law - to treat your daughter.  She will do as she has learned - not your words - but your actions.  Don't expect anything else from her.


I know there is plenty more I am not thinking of in this moment.  This may deserve another post at a future date. At this point, I've cried myself out so I think we'll end it here.


Marty - I am so glad God put us together.  We are blessed to have you in our lives.  Our kids are blessed.  Future generations - will be blessed.  You have set in motion generations of daughters and sons who know and love the Lord.  I am honored to be your wife and our children are honored to be your children.  Thank you my amazing man.  I love you.

For I know the plans

Change - is not easy.  I kick and scream against it.  I like things the way they are. I like things predictable and I don't like when a wrench gets thrown in anything.  I have things planned out and I expect them to go as planned.  Look out when they don't!

This past few months, our family has grown closer through some significant changes.  All good - but all very, very hard.

Sometimes in life, we think we know what's best for us.  We think we know what is best for our kids, for their futures.  We arrange our lives around them.  We, quite honestly, spend very little time stopping and actually asking GOD what might be best for them.  We just plow ahead and expect God to follow along.  Sometimes - we don't even know we're doing it.  Then, we pray God's will be done and when it IS done - it's a major shock and we just don't know what in the world He's doing!  We didn't really want His will - we wanted ours with His stamp of approval.

As you know, if your a regular reader, little man is a soccer player and a good one.  His whole life, we have arranged our lives around his "career".  He likes it - we haven't been those idiot parents that determine their kid is better than anyone else and that's all there is to it and then push them into something they don't want to do.  It was his love as much as it was ours.  It was his talent, his gifting and we were thankful for it especially considering school just wasn't his gig.

His whole life, we have traveled, we have paid, we have built our lives around the fact that one day, he would move on to play high school ball and then, if he wanted, college ball.  Then he didn't make the high school team this fall.  I don't know why and honestly that is another story not for blog land and not for the point of this post.

The point is this.  We thought we knew what was best for Jon.  We really did.  We encouraged, drove, bought uniforms, socks, shoes - supported what was His dream - for years.  Yet God - in His greater understanding of our sons future - had other plans.

When we first received the news - we were all devastated - little man the most.  We did not see that one coming - not even close.  My heart broke for my child.  It seemed as if his future was crushed and now everything we have done all these years was for nothing.

Now, 2 months later - I have come to realize a few things.

I prayed for God's will to be done - but I didn't really mean it at the time.  But now - now I see what God is doing.  Now I see a greater purpose unfolding.  Now, I get it.  Maybe not in full - but in part.  I see a more balanced child.  I see a child that actually is learning to love learning.  I see a child getting good grades in school - and realizing soccer - is just not everything.  I see a young man loving on others in Special Olympics and taking his skills and teaching others - and he is oh so good at it.  I see a young man willing to explore other options in his life - find other talents he has. I see someone who now has the time to go on missions trips, try out for the football team or the golf team or the whatever team.  I see a child dreaming of all life could be and not trying to fit it into a very narrow box.

At the same time - we are watching our daughter struggle.  I don't want to put her out there so I'll just say this.  She was the one who we thought would embrace the major change in her life - college - and have no trouble whatsoever with it.  We thought she would run into this new life and never look back.  She has gone the opposite direction and although it is hard for her - I do see God working in her at this difficult point.  I know that although she is in the midst of the question of what God's will IS - going through all this with our son - makes me realize that God's perfect plan will soon reveal itself to her and she, too, will get it.  As a side note - she wrote on my husband's facebook wall today after going swing dancing last night "I realized tonight that I suck at dancing with anybody but you.  Miss you daddy" - yeah - I cried and I'm crying again.  Oh how much we miss her and how much our heart aches for her.

Jeremiah 29:11 says this:  For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord.  Plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  Plans to give you a hope and a future.

God's plans - not ours.  Sometimes we can't see it - but we must trust that God has our best in mind.  He is going to give us a great hope and a great future.  We need to lean into His arms when change comes that we are not expecting and embrace this truth.  His good and perfect will is always - always better than our plans.

Chicken - bawk bawk!

This week I've had two opportunities - no - make that 3 - to really speak truth into people's lives - and I've chickened out.  This may surprise some of you - but I'm not always so brave, so forward and so willing to speak my mind.  People think I am all of the above - but honestly - I'm not.  Yes, in a situation where I am directly confronted or attacked - look out - but when I need to speak truth and I may hurt someones feelings in the process - that's tough stuff.

Does anyone else struggle with this?  Do you ever walk away from a conversation and think "SNAP - I shoulda said this" or "I shoulda said that".  You KNOW what the word says - but you don't speak it?  You hold back and you wish you hadn't?

I'm good at speaking truth in love - in writing.  I'm just not good at it in person.  

I know God is working on me because I've been diving into the word, trying to memorize scripture.   I know stuff in the bible - but I can never recall where I read this or that.  Recently I've been trying to commit it to memory.  Maybe I'm wrong - but I feel like God has tested me - not once - not twice - but three times this week to use that scripture and speak truth into people's lives - but I haven't been able to do it.

I'm frustrated with myself over it.  Not necessarily discouraged - but disappointed that I would be afraid to tell people what they need to know.  I am going to be held responsible for that.  I don't want people to come back later and say "Well if you knew that - then WHY didn't you tell me??"

Anywho.  I need to work on this.  My reason for memorizing scripture is Psalm 119:11 - I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.  Yet - I am silent.  Grrrr.

It's never too late - I still have opportunity to speak in love and tell the truth in God's word.  Pray for me, will you?  That I would be bold and courageous - yet gentle and delicate.  Also pray that the next time I have an opportunity to use my words in speaking truth - I am able to do that.  Thanks!

Luke 6:38 and Special Olympics

Check out this verse:

Luke 6:38
Give, and you will receive.  Your gift will return to you in full - pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap.  The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.

Love this one!

I'm not sure if this verse is supposed to be talking about money.  Maybe it is - I would have to check into it.  However, I think it applies to other areas of life even more.

We coach a Special Olympics Soccer team which most of you know if you read regularly.  Last night - I was I tired.  I had taught for 7 straight hours, my throat hurt, my feet hurt, and talking was a struggle.  I got out of work at 3:20, got home and ran out immediately to go to practice.  Truthfully - I didn't want to go.  I wanted to climb into bed and go to sleep!  But - duty called - and so we went to practice.

Coaching Special Olympics is by far one of the most rewarding things I have ever done in life.  I can't tell you how awesome it is.  Had I known it was this wonderful years ago - I would not have spent so many years (not counting a few groups of beautiful young women that I still am in contact with whom I love!) coaching at the high school and travel level.  The politics are just gone and I actually get to do what I LOVE to do - work with amazing people and teach them a sport I love.  So nice!!

This verse - applies to Special Olympics.

Give - give of your time, your talents, your heart.  Give out of compassion.  You will receive.  Your gift will return to you in full - and then some!  Coaching Special Olympics is just plain SPECIAL!  Every day I go, intending to "impart" my "knowledge" - and always -without fail - by the end of the practice or game - everything I want to give to them is handed right back at me - in more quantity than I can even contain.  I don't know if that makes sense - but just like the verse says - it's poured into your lap.  Poured!  I just love these "kids".

It is true.  It is better to give than to receive - but it is also incredible to see that when you do give - you receive back oh so much more.  Blessings are just like that.

Mean - Taylor Swift

I've been tossing around sharing this post with you for a while.  I love the lyrics to this song - it speaks to the heart of the girl I was, oh goodness, 20 some years ago as a pre-teen.  (Okay, okay, a little bit more than 20 - but not much!)  I've debated sharing it because I wonder if anyone else can relate to how a song can speak to a part of you from years past.  Not sure that makes any sense - but there it is.

I would hate for you all to think I've gone off my rocker.  Yeah - no smart comments from some of you (A) - we all know I fell OFF the rocker a long time ago!

ANYWAY.  Let's move this post along.  I'll share the lyrics and then some thoughts with you afterwards.  Read on past the song - especially if this song speaks to you.

Mean - Taylor Swift

You, with your words like knives and swords and weapons that you use against me

You have knocked me off my feet again, got me feeling like I'm nothing

You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard, calling me out when I'm wounded

You, pickin' on the weaker man

Well, you can take me down with just one single blow

But you don't know what you don't know

Someday I'll be living in a big old city

And all your ever gonna be is mean

Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me

And all you're ever gonna be is mean

Why you gotta be so mean?

You, with your switching sides and your walk-by lies and your humiliation

You, have pointed out my flaws again as if I don't already see them

I'll walk with my head down trying to block you out 'cause I'll never impress you

I just wanna feel okay again

I'll bet you got pushed around, somebody made you cold

But the cycle ends right now 'cause you can't lead me down that road

And you don't know what you don't know

Someday, I'll be living in a big old city

And all you're ever gonna be is mean

Someday, I'll be big enough so you can't hit me

And all you're ever gonna be is mean

Why you gotta be so mean?

And I can see you years from now in a bar, talking over a football game

With that same big loud opinion but nobody's listening

Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things

Drunk and grumbling on about how I can't sing

But all you are is mean

All you are is mean, and a liar, and pathetic and alone in lie

And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean

Someday, I'll be living in a big old city

And all you're ever gonna be is mean, yeah

Someday, I'll be big enough so you can't hit me 

And all you're ever gonna be is mean

Why you gotta be so mean?

There's so many ways this song speaks to me.  First, although the physical abuse was the lesser of the 3 evils of my childhood, it was still there.  Second - I remember very vividly growing up telling myself, telling him - that who I was then would not be who I would be as a grown up.  I knew, even way back then, that the abuse stopped there and my kids would never experience the life I lived.  I knew one day I would be in a big old city and I would be big enough  - brave enough - strong enough - to not be hit anymore.  I never in my life doubted that. I was as stubborn then as I am now.

Although my Dad wasn't a drunk.  I wish I could say he was, at least as some kind of an excuse for his meanness.  I only saw him drunk once in my life.  He was just mean - without alcohol.  But - I can see him in a bar talking over something, washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things - with a big loud opinion and no one's listening.  I can see that as clear as day because he always had a big loud opinion.  (yes, yes, I DO get that from somewhere!)

Someday has arrived.  This is where I just cry.  Someday has arrived.  It has arrived because I serve a God bigger than my past.  I listen to this song, I feel the heart of the 13 year old girl I once was.  I feel her pain, I feel her hoping against all hope that the day will come and things will change.  Now things have - and it sets me to tears so fast.  Someday has arrived.  I serve a mighty God.  My kids have never - and will never - feel the way I felt.  They will never be able to sing this song.  Praise Jesus.  I can't say it enough - someday has arrived - and I am oh so grateful to the God I serve.

Last night as we were driving home from Special Olympics, this song was playing on the radio.  Little man was sitting in the front, me in the back.  It's not often - if ever - I think of my father now and what has become of him and his life.  I'm sorry if this makes me sound ungodly - but I don't much care.  I have forgiven, yes, but honestly - there is still a part of me that hopes he is, in fact, sitting around with no one listening after all he did to my family.  But last night, I thought what a lonely man he must have become.  Lonely, bitter, hopeless - and I felt for him.  I thought of all his actions have caused him to miss out on.  My beautiful children, my amazing rock solid man - me.  And I felt sad for his sadness, his emptiness.  It was his choice, yes - but at the same time - we all make choices in life that leave us in desperate places.  It made me see how far my forgiveness - God's forgiveness - has stretched.  To be able to feel sorry for him - well that's a new step.

Anyway - for all those pre-teens and teens that happened on this blog because you looked up the lyrics - and have actually stuck with reading this to this point - please know this.  There is hope.  This is a future.  There is a plan - a grand purpose for your life so much bigger than you now know.  No matter what has happened or is happening to you - you WILL HAVE your someday.  Hang in there.  Jesus loves you oh so much more than you could ever know. I'm here.  Leave a comment, we'll talk.  Don't give up.  Your someday is coming.

His Masterpiece

I am not a painter.  I wish I were. I think painting/drawing/sketching is an incredible gift. To be able to see with your minds eye and transpose to paper - that's pretty special in my book.

I am, however, a musician.  At one time, a very good musician.   When I was at the height of my "career" in music - I loved to play.  I loved to hear the music, to play in a way to make people feel the music.  I was able to play with or without written music and make something beautiful.  Now - not so much - but at one time, this was true.

Ephesians 2:10, NLT says this:  "For we are God's masterpiece.  He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

I love this verse. We are a masterpiece!  We, in the hands of God, the master artist, make a beautiful song - we are a beautiful painting!  We have been created anew.  Think about that.  In order for a piece to reach the "master" level - it must be removed of all defect by the maker.  We have been removed of all defect by our maker!  We are beauty.  We have been created this way for GOOD things.  And the best part?  For good things God planned LONG ago.  Amazing!

Much like a musician begins to hear a song long before it is ever played, or a painter begins to picture what she/he will create in her mind long before she begins creating it - our God - our great, awesome, magnificent God - began planning US - his MASTERPIECE - long ago.  Isn't that exciting?  I think it is!  He saw us in His mind's eye and he couldn't wait to put us to paper - to see what He created. 

God's masterpiece.  Something incredible, beautiful, perfect.  Owned, created and gazed upon with approval and affection by God.  He loves the look of us, he loves the sound of our laughter.  Yes - we are beautiful in His sight.  He is proud of what He has created. Can you feel that today?

Beauty in the Moment

Today I went shopping for some work clothes.  I am running way low.  As in 1 pair of pants and maybe 2 dress shirts and that is it.  I needed to pick up 2 pairs of pants and a couple of shirts.

As always, I struggled.  The negativity in my mind in the dressing room is crazy.  I scold myself, yell at myself, feel regret, remorse, guilt.  None of it is positive.  I'm mad, angry, ready to cry.

After trying on stuff for over an hour, I finally found a fit - and a wonderful woman who helped me out that was so non-judgmental, it made me think.

As I was walking out the door with clothes in hand - something struck me.

I need to be beautiful - feel beautiful - in the moment.

I think all women struggle with their self-esteem.  Some more than others - I think it's part of the curse.  We'll never be happy with where we are at weight wise, shape wise, fitness wise.  There is always "more" we can do, "more" we can be (or less, as the case may be, lol).  But, is there?

Today - I am allowing myself to be beautiful - to feel beautiful - right now.  Right here.  Right where I am at.  Today I love me even though I'm overweight and not where I want to be.  Today I will look in the mirror and tell myself positive things and relish the fact that I have a man who loves me, finds me attractive - right where I'm at.  He's sure not complaining - just the opposite - so why am I?

We are all beautiful.  Give yourself permission today to be beautiful in this moment.  Forget about tomorrow, forget about how your body has changed, forget about the extra pounds.  Just look at yourself through God's eyes and see that you are beautiful.

Kingdom Minded

The political scene in America is, in my opinion, pretty divided right now.  There are tea parties, right-winged, left-winged, independents, liberal, conservative - ask - someone will tell you what they think.  In America, we are fortunate enough to be able to speak our minds, share our opinions and face almost no ill-consequence from it.  It is part of what makes this country great.

I love my country.  I love that I was born here.  I am thankful for my religious freedom.  I am proud of the men and the women who serve so I can be free.  I love that we can agree to disagree and no one has to get killed for it.  I love that we are free to choose what we believe and whom we believe.  I am glad no one tells me how to dress, what to speak and that as a woman, I enjoy the same equal rights as a man.  There are so many good things about this place and I believe this is a great country.

There is a growing mindset, however, especially in the church, that concerns me.  I don't want to offend anyone - but I feel it is something that needs to be addressed.

It is not about countries.  It is about people.  It is about the kingdom of God.  It is not about the color of our skin, the amount of money in our bank account, the language we speak, the party we belong to, the way we vote - it is about the kingdom of God.  It is not about America, India, China, Israel, Egypt, Mexico, Canada, Germany - wherever - it is about the KINGDOM.  The kingdom of God - where GOD doesn't see us as any different. 

This post is something I see go around a lot of Facebook.  I've seen it posted on friends walls, on others walls.  I want to talk about it a little if I could.  It goes like this: 

In America - We Have to press "1" to speak English. In America - the homeless go without eating.  In America - the elderly go without needed medicines.  In America - the mentally ill go without treatment.  In America - our troops go without proper equipment.  In America - our vets go without promised benefits, yet, we donate billions to other countries before helping our own.

All true.  But - let's look at it a different way.

In the kingdom - God created the languages - equally.  He speaks and understands them all.  In the kingdom - the homeless go without eating.  In the kingdom - the elderly go without medicines.  In the kingdom - the mentally ill go without treatment.  In the kingdom - in other countries besides our own -  troops go without proper equipment.  In the kingdom - vets go without benefits - if they get any at all - and lets not forget those forced to fight at the age of 12 or child solders taken from their families.  In the kingdom - it's not about taking care of OUR OWN - it's about taking care of PEOPLE - ALL of God's people!

Kingdom minded.  God created us all.  He created every beautiful color.  He created every musical language.  He created us all.  He does not see us as "American" or "Mexican" or "African-American" or "Jewish" or "Muslim" - He sees us through His eyes of love - through the eyes of our heavenly father - madly, deeply, in love with ALL of us.

And let me add one more thing.  IF the church as a whole - no matter what country or part of the world we come from - IF the church as a whole took care of the needs of the community - THEN all of those things wouldn't be a problem.  No one would go without eating because we would all share our food instead of looking down on those who don't make as much as we do - or who have made poor choices in life and are now unable - for whatever reason - to feed themselves.  No one would go without medical or psychological care - because - we - as the church - using the talents and gifts God has given us - would take care of the needs of others. 

I just encourage you to think about this.  Be kingdom minded - not country minded.  No where in the bible does it tell us to take care of "America" before we take care of another country.  That's not what the kingdom is about.  It should not be about "us" and "them" - but about the very people Jesus died for.  And that, my good friends, includes everyone.

Kingdom Minded.  A whole new perspective.

This is how I feel right now

Worth a re-post

I wrote this back in March.  I need to dig this book out again - it so spoke to my heart at that point.  God has been calling us to serve a lot lately in a few new areas.  These are words I need to be reminded of myself - and to share it with others.  Having said that - here's the repost.  It was called "You are stunning".  Enjoy.

Yesterday I posted this from Lisa Bevere's book Lioness Arising:

"You are stunning.  You were born for this moment.  Don't be afraid of your strength, questions, or insights.  Awaken, rise up, and dare to realize all you were created to be."

Now I'd like to write it like this:

"Daughter - I think you are amazingly beautiful.  I have created you for this moment in time!  I have given you strength and insight.  Ask me anything you want!  Wake up!  RISE UP!  I dare you to realize what I have made you to be!"

I can't get this quote out of my head.  It has clung to me like dew on the grass in the morning.  It has saturated my spirit, fed life into these dry bones.  It is as if the heavenly Father reached down, picked me up, set me on my feet, whispered this in my ear - and then set me free to fly.  I can see him, hear him, feel his proud smile, hear his laughter, his joy, as I realize all he has made me to be.  I can't explain it but it has set me free.

I hope it does the same for you.  In a single moment, one paragraph spoke, no, shouted, to me.  I am excited!  I can't wait to see what God has in store.  All the striving, all the being rooted to the cares of this world - just thrown off.  I'm excited - and allowing myself - to dare to believe - that THIS year - something is going to break, something is going to set free, some dream He has planted in my spirit, in my soul,  will spring forth and I will finally get to see clearly what He has planned.  I can't explain it and I can't wait for it to happen - but I know, I know, it will.

You are stunning.  Let that sink into your spirit.  You - daughter of Christ - are exceedingly beautiful, amazing, better than you have ever dreamed - inside and out.  He made YOU for this moment - whatever that moment is for you!  All of time, He was waiting - waiting for this moment in time - for YOU.  Do you understand that?  Can you feel that?  For you!  He has given you strength for today!  He has equipped you for the task ahead.  He has given you wisdom, insight - knowledge to accomplish whatever he has for you.  If you are asleep - wake up!  Listen!  Your father calls your name! Do you hear Him?  Can you heart it??  He's calling you!  It's time!  Time to get up - time to rise from your slumber!  Believe it sister in Christ!  He has created you to be something great in His kingdom!  Dare to believe it.  Great may be defined differently - maybe you are raising the next Billy Graham- wiping his snotty little nose right now - but you have been called to be the mother of someone who will bring thousands - millions - to the feet of Jesus!  Maybe your marriage is created for this moment - for something great - to pull others out of the pit!  Maybe you are a teacher and you are touching lives - SAVING lives - for the kingdom!  Maybe you are a student, studying diligently to find a cure for cancer or move out on the missions field to tell people who have never heard about Jesus!  Whatever it is, wherever it is, God has called YOU for this moment in time!

Isn't it exciting??  Can you hear Him call your name?

I stand amazed.  He is oh so worthy.  Oh so mighty.  He is Savior, Friend, Rescuer, Redeemer.  Almighty God.  I am so in love with him.