Vacations all I ever wanted (with you)

I recently saw an article headline on yahoo that said something about taking separate vacations as a married couple will make your marriage stronger.  Yes, yes, my dear blog readers, I'm about to go off.

I consider my marriage to be one of the best.  Sometimes I feel bad saying that because I know a lot of marriages struggle.  Sometimes I feel like people will think I'm arrogant - or worse yet - lying - when I say that.  Yet, it's true.  I married an incredible guy.  We have a very solid marriage.  Is it perfect?  No.  He's a male, I'm a female and that alone is bound to bring in differences.  Do I wish he could read my mind so I didn't actually have to tell him when I'm annoyed?  Yeah, that would be wonderful :)  But in all seriousness - I'm a blessed chick and I could not be happier with my marriage.  I don't ever speak the word divorce and I never dream of what if's.

There are reasons we have a rock solid marriage.  Take separate vacations?  I mean come ON - WHY did you get married if you want to spend so much time apart??? Shoot - I'd be happy if we could just afford a vacation once in a while!!

Seriously.  I don't get couples that have his nights out and her nights out.  I'm sorry - I don't mean that's wrong or a bad thing.  It's not wrong to hang with your friends here and there.  Not at all.  Especially when the kids are little and you just need a break.  I'm talking about those couples who never seem to do ANYTHING together.  Where she's always with her friends and he's always with his and IF they spend any time together, they can't stand each other so why bother?  That is a world I just don't get.

If you want to see Marty and I fight - then the best thing to do is keep us apart for any length of time.  They say absence makes the heart grow fonder - but in our case - that's never worked.  If we start spending time apart, we end up getting really irritated with each other when we get back together.  Our flaws seem to stand out more than before.  We're short and snippy with each other.  The only time we fight seems to be when life causes us to spend a lot of time apart.

I LOVE time with my husband.  YES I DO!!  I could NOT think of anything better than to spend time with him!  He is my best friend.  My bff :)  My soul mate.  I have no clue what I would do without him.  No one can make me laugh or smile the way he does.  No one gets my sense of humor the way he does.  No one puts up with my flaws the way he does.  There is not a single person in this world I'd rather be with over him.

Can I say this?  Whoever wrote that article obviously does not have a very good marriage.  If you look FORWARD to time apart - then I'm sorry - something is wrong.  Seriously.  Vacation? Without my man?  That would just stink.  Totally stink.

Okay - end rant.  I'm good now.  The moral of THIS story is - take vacations WITH - not without - your spouse.  What you invest into your marriage is what you'll get out of it.  I promise you - you won't regret it.

Happy Birthday :)

Happy Happy Birthday to the SEXIEST man alive - my husband ;)  It's his 40th people so make sure you wish him a great big happy birthday when you see him.

I'm pretty stinking thankful for the day this man was born - because he has made me the happiest woman alive.

Happy 40th babe!

You're still the one

Today Marty and I are celebrating our 19th wedding anniversary :)  God is so good.  I think we'll sum it all up with a song.  I think I married the most incredible man on the planet.  Today - I am happy, content, satisfied.  Marty - you're still the one - and you always will be.

Celebration!

2011 is a year of milestones - a year of celebration.  It is a year that makes me realize life passes so quickly and we should cherish the moments.  It is a year I am thankful to God for how He brings us through the best - and the worst - of times.  It is a year to celebrate family and friends - and life.

Here are some of the big events coming up in our lives this year.

May 23 - Marty and I will celebrate 19 years of marriage.  AWESOME!  How blessed we are!
May 27 - Elyse will finish her last day of high school!
June 5 - We will celebrate the graduation of our first born child.  I can't even type this without crying.  What a beautiful young lady God has blessed us with.
June 11 - Elyse's graduation party.  Y'all are invited of course!  12-5 - at our place.
June 15 - "Little" Man will turn 15.  How is it possible???  Let's hope the poor kid grows some before the fall & the start of high school :)
June 17 - To be announced - and no - I ain't pregnant :)
June 22 - Marty will celebrate his 40th birthday!!  Keep June 21st open - we may have a party to celebrate :)
June 28 - I will celebrate 5 years cancer free - which means - God has fully healed me!  God is so good.
August 26 - Elyse turns 18.  WOW. 
August 27 - We drop our "baby girl" off at college.  Again, crying.  It doesn't seem possible.
Day after labor day - Our little man starts high school.  It just blows my mind.

Elyse - the child the Dr.'s told us would be brain damaged due to her seizures.  She will graduate with a 3.6, received a 28 on her ACT and attend bible college in the fall.  God is faithful.

Jon - the child with learning disabilities - will finish 8th grade and enter high school with a fresh start in the fall.  I suspect he will do great and we will be just as amazed at all God has done in his life in 4 years as we are now for Elyse.  God is faithful.

Our marriage - look at all God has done.  We're still kicking and more in love than we were the day we got married.  God is faithful.

My health - 5 years - cancer free - cured.  God is faithful.

2011 - A year of celebrations!  We hope you will join us for Elyse's open house & a possible party on the 21st of June to celebrate Marty's 40th birthday and my cancer free journey.  We'd love to see you there.  After all - what's a celebration without people to share it with??

Blessed

Hola :)  My amazing hubby and I spent the last 24 hours in Sandusky, OH enjoying some us time.  Tonight I type this - content.  What an incredible marriage God has blessed us with.  I can't tell you how much fun we have and how much we enjoy each others company.

I don't think I've mentioned this before but maybe this will offer someone out there some hope.  This marriage - is a God thing.  It has not always been what you see now.  12 years ago, we suffered in silence and our marriage was falling apart.  I never would have believed we would move beyond those struggles and enjoy each other the way we do now.  If your marriage is in trouble - let me offer your some hope.  God can do amazing things - if only we would look not to ourselves, not to each other - but to Him.  If you look up, you spend a lot less time tearing each other apart - and suddenly - your marriage will become what you never thought it could be.  Is it hard?  Yes.  Are there struggles?  Yes.

The root of most marriage troubles is selfishness.  What a shame that we treat others better than we treat our spouses.  In marriage, we must give - and give - and give - until it hurts.  We must think of the other more highly than we think of ourselves, put their needs above our needs.  When we stop spending so much time focusing on ourselves, suddenly we can truly see the other person.  Just some free advice :)

Anywho - I could go on - but instead - let me share with you some pics of our fun weekend.  We sure had a good time.  Thanks again to our incredible friend who gifted us the hotel for the weekend.  It was a big blessing and saying thank you doesn't seem like enough.   We got a free upgrade to a Jacuzzi suite - so not only was the room free - but the upgrade was free - and that was great!  I love me some Jacuzzi time!  This morning I ate my danish in the Jacuzzi and had my books there too.  Ahhhh.  It was wonderful :)

Here are the pics!!

 Jacuzzi.  Soooooo relaxing.  I think we should put one of these on our back deck!!

 The room.  Yes, 2 double beds.  They didn't have king size rooms w/ Jacuzzi.  I found that strange.

 For some strange reason, I can't get this thing to let me type between those 2 pics.  Anyway - Pic two was to say THANKS to A, our friend who gifted us with this fun weekend :)  Pic one was the first ice cream cone of the season.  Good stuff!!  Superman ice cream ROCKS!!

 East Harbor State Park - Lake Erie.  I'm trying to refrain from saying this - but no matter how many times I visit Lake Erie - boy does it make me LONG for Lake Michigan.  Lake Erie, is just nasty.  The beaches are ugly, it's, I don't know.  It ain't Lake Michigan.  

 Okay, couldn't type between those two pics either.  First one is us - of course.  We are so cute together - lol :)  The next couple of pics are from a nature preserve we found off of route 2 between Sandusky and Toledo.  I was pretty.  We got to see a goose fight, an eagle, and lots of birds and bird watchers.  I am looking forward to going back when the leaves are on the trees.  I think it will be beautiful.

Great site

Need some ideas on a special night out with your man? Check out this site - it's amazing. I haven't tried anything on there yet - but I see a few I would love to do. The nice part about the site is it's clean - no junk. Just a bunch of creative people coming up with mostly inexpensive date nights. Hope you enjoy and find it useful as well! And, by the way - I don't care how many years you've been married - DATE your spouse! We'll be celebrating 19 years coming up in May - and one of the ways we keep things going strong - is by dating. Never get so tied down in the mundane everyday things of life that you forget what it's like to enjoy each other!

Valentines Day Pics

 Table set for a little candlelight dinner for the 4 of us!  Made Indian Food - potato curry and Chicken Mahkini - so yummy!!

 Be jealous - be very jealous.  Just kidding!  HOW creative is he anyway??  Box of chocolates and on the bottom of each chocolate was a little message.  What a smart guy I married!!

 Literally the prettiest flowers I have ever been given.  I LOVE pink and these were just beautiful!

How cool is that?  Little pink hearts glued to some of the flowers.  LOVE it!!

Great Valentines Day!!  How about you?  What did you do to celebrate today??

In honor of Valentine's Day!!

So I've said it a million times before and I'll say it a million times more - I married an AMAZING guy!  And can I just say - he's one good lookin' man!  In honor of Valentine's Day - here's some pics of us over the years.  Happy Valentines Babe - I love you more than I did the very first Valentines Day we celebrated together in 1990.  

Bahamas - December 2009

Christmas 2008

Summer 2010

Dating - maybe 1990 or 1991

Dating again - 1990 or 1991

Ludington - Spring Break - 2010 - I think!

May 23, 1992

One more time....

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO THE MOST AMAZING MAN IN THE WORLD!!

I LOVE YOU!!



25 days of praise

Funny story.  Week 4 of 25 days of praise and I ask my husband what he wants for Valentines. Day  Here's how the conversation went:

Me:  What do you want for Valentines Day?
Hubby:  A card
Me:  Huh??  A card?? Will a card make you feel loved and appreciated??
Hubby:  I already do

Awwww!  Isn't he amazing??  A card was NOT the answer I was expecting.  I was expecting something I would never write on here!!

Man I love this guy!! 

Here's what Courtney says about week 4, the final week:

This Monday is Valentine's Day. In a lot of marriages, this day comes and goes without a whole lot of acknowledgement. We women see it on the calendar - we know it's there, we've helped our children write out all their little Valentine's Day cards...and we cross our fingers that our husband NOTICES it is Valentine's Day.

If you are a lucky one - you will get a card, flowers, dinner out, maybe some chocolates and some romance. And well - the rest of us...it might not happen and we'll just have an annoying day lol!

But rather than waiting around for something that might not happen - how about we use this day to show our husbands appreciation for the blessing that they are in our lives. This day gives us a reason to shower our husbands with some extra Tender Loving Care!!!

Remember - there are no exceptions in the Bible where it says on Birthdays, Mother's Day and Valentine's Day we have permission to get selfish and self-centered.

Philippians 2:3,4 says "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others."

My husband is thoughtful. It is not uncommon for him to show up with my favorite drink from Starbucks, a late night run to fill my car up with gas, or a timely back rub. But he's not Mr. Romance. I am 100% secure in his love for me by the way he works so hard to provide, listens to my long detailed stories lol!, protects me and the children and does a whole slew of other things 365 days a year! I don't want to despise him on February 14th for not coming up with a soap opera type romantic extravaganza. I know it's not gonna happen and it probably won't happen for about 90% of us!

So why not have some fun planning something special for our husbands and making a memory! Do you know what your husband wants? There's still quite a few days left - so ask him!

Let me make a suggestion as to what a majority of men want even if they aren't willing to say it:

1. A great tasting, looking, smelling home cooked meal and home cooked dessert (I plan to make an all red dinner - red drink - red spaghetti - red dessert)

2. You pursuing him for a night of passion (remember you are married - HAVE fun! God created passion for us married folk! lol!) Don't be afraid to flirt again - wink at him across the table - suggest what is for dessert after the kids are in bed *wink*. Loosen' up and have fun! Make a memory that neither of you will forget!

3. Write a letter expressing all the things you admire about him. Consider reading it out loud to him at dinner in front of your children. Or if you are going out to dinner - put your list in your purse and then pull it out in the middle of dinner and read it to him. Trust me - he will LOVE it!

Which of the three does your husband need from you right now?
Me speaking again -

I have to say something.  My husband is truly an amazing man.  As we close up this challenge - let me acknowledge something.  I AM ONE OF THE LUCKY ONES!  How have I gotten to be so blessed??  I am not bragging or trying to put that in anyone's face - merely shaking my head at how much God has blessed this undeserving girl.

Thank you JESUS for giving us this awesome thing called marriage.  I love this man more than I ever thought possible. 

25 Days of Praise

So it's been a while since I've done any posting on this subject!  Rest assured - I have not forgotten.  This week the focus was on intimacy.  With the blizzard last week and my untimely sickness - this week was honestly a struggle for me.  Kids home every day is not conducive to intimacy!  It was not a complete fail however - but that's all I'm gonna say about THAT!!

ANYWAY!  Tomorrow we start week 4 and the final week!  I will actually miss this challenge.  The crazy thing is I've been focusing so much on this challenge that it never dawned on me that at the end was Valentines Day!  I think I've used up all great ideas I could possibly ever come up with - so maybe I'll leave the planning of that special day to the man :)

Tonight my son rolled his eyes after I read a status update I had put on Facebook - and said "you two act like a couple of high schoolers!" to which my husband replied "well I do believe that's the best compliment you could have paid us" - and - of course - my being the more serious one - said "and I think you should be thankful because it's not something a lot of your friends have."

I am thankful, as always for this amazing guy God has blessed me with.  We have a quote up on our bedroom wall and it says "The Lord Blessed the Broken Road that led me to you".  It's true - the Lord DID bless my broken road and I am so glad He led me to my hubby.

Here's what Courtney says about week 4:


Week 4 February 9th - Women love romance, chocolate and flowers on Valentines Day. Do you know what your husband wants? Ask him! Let me make a suggestion as to what a majority of men want even if they aren't willing to say it: a great tasting, looking, smelling home cooked meal and home cooked dessert, you pursuing him for a night of passion (remember you are married - HAVE fun! God created passion for us married folk! lol!) or a letter expressing all the things you admire about him. One of these things he would surely enjoy. Which of the three does your husband need from you right now?


I don't have to ask, I already know!  I will ask, however, to make sure I'm not just making an assumption.  And in case that man is reading this post - I do love romance and flowers - and I especially like away time and dinner out.  I'm not a big chocolate fan - don't hate it - but it's not something I "love" like most women!

Either way - I just love to be with HIM!  

How has this challenge gone for you?  Have you learned anything about yourself?  About your spouse?  What have you found difficult?  What have you found easy?  What needs work in the future and what do you think your pretty good at?

Keep it up my friends - marriage IS hard work - but the reward is great.   

To close this one out - here are some quotes I found on marriage.  Enjoy!

Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.  ~Barnett R. Brickner

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.  ~Doug Larson

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes.
Amy Grant

Any fool can have a trophy wife.
It takes a real man to have a trophy marriage.
Diane Sollee

I have no way of knowing whether or not you married the wrong person, but I do know that many people have a lot of wrong ideas about marriage and what it takes to make that marriage happy and successful. I'll be the first to admit that it's possible that you did marry the wrong person. However, if you treat the wrong person like the right person, you could well end up having married the right person after all. On the other hand, if you marry the right person, and treat that person wrong, you certainly will have ended up marrying the wrong person. I also know that it is far more important to be the right kind of person than it is to marry the right person. In short, whether you married the right or wrong person is primarily up to you.
Zig Ziglar      

25 Days of Praise

I shared previously that I would let 'ya know if Courtney @ Women Living Well had anything further to say about Week 3 of 25 days of praise.  Well - she did!!  How are things going for you??  We had a blizzard yesterday and ain't no one goin' no where for a few days - week 3 has now been seriously challenged - lol!!  Fortunately I was a wise woman and planned something special for this Monday night while the kids were at youth group.  And that's all your going to hear about THAT!

Here's a copy of Courtney's post about week 3!

There is something about the sparkle in our eye, the smile that says I adore you, the curves of our body, the sweet smell of our perfume, the way we move in the dark...that draws a man to a woman.

Proverbs 30:18,19 says"There are three things that are too amazing for me, four that I do not understand; the way of an eagle in the sky, the way of a snake on a rock, the way of a ship on the high seas, and the way of a man with a maiden."

For men the physical need for intimacy is more than just physical - it is emotional. Just as we long to remain desirable to our husband's, our husband's long to know that they are still desirable to us. Their big ol' egos might not let them admit it - but it's there.

Within our God given femininity, we have the power to make our men feel stronger, more capable, more confident and loved in all areas - simply by responding to his initiatives with desire.

So this week's challenge is:

Pursue intimacy and place the intimate needs of your spouse above your own. Give him a foot or back massage, shower together, be creative!

Seek to "kiss him like you mean it" every single day this week! Solomon 5:16 says "His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely." Look at your husband through the eyes of his fiance...do you remember those butterflies and your longing for him. Renew that passion.

Paula Rinehart says that for many men, "S*x is like a silent cheer."

Our men feel stronger, more capable, and built up when we respond to their advances with a smile.

"Be available, agreeable and interested.(~Linda Dillow, Intimate Issues)

"When you touch your husband's deepest need something good almost always happens!"~ Dr. Emerson Eggerich

So I challenge you today to not just show your husband you love him but show him that you LIKE him!

25 Days of Praise

Some things are best side by pictures - so below - here was something I did for 25 days of praising my man.

1.  Wrote out 55 ways I love him and what he means to me

2.  Purchased some sweetart hearts

3.  Blew up 55 balloons, put one note and one sweettart into each balloon (sorry, forgot to take a picture of that) and stuffed them in garbage bags for transport.  My head was spinning by the time I finished.

4.  Stuffed the car with them

He was surprised!  It took a while for him to pop all of those balloons and read those messages - but I think he loved it!!  It was perfect timing as well as he had had a really bad day at work.

So my friends - that was a creative way to praise my man :-)  What about you - what have you come up with this week??

25 Days of Praise - Week 2!!

Oh boy - I typed this once already - and it was good - and then I deleted it accidentally :(  Let's try again!!

Here we are - week 2 of 25 days of praising your man!!  I must say Courtney @ Women Living Well had a terrific idea with this little challenge!!  We have a pretty incredible marriage - but after week one of truly focusing in on my husband and building him up has made our marriage even stronger!   In fact - this week - we have heard "Would you two STOP making out!" more than once from our teens as they have caught us catching kisses in the kitchen a few times!  We keep telling them "Just be HAPPY that your Mom & Dad love each other enough to show it!"  Their response "GROSS!".  Lol.  Sometimes we kiss just to annoy them ;-)

Here's what I figure.  Our marriage is a set up for them.  What they learn at home about marriage is what shapes what they want and expect and how to act themselves in a marriage.  Lavish each other with love, affection, grace, mercy, laughter - and they will learn what a happy and healthy marriage is.  Do the opposite - and they will grow up to expect a miserable and messy marriage.  It's your choice.  Set them up for a marriage God intended by keeping your own strong.

Here's what Courtney says for week 2:

Week 2 January 26th - This week we will be a little more creative with our praise. I will give you many ideas of fun things you can do to praise your husband such as surprising him with a love message on the mirror, a message packed in his lunch, using sidewalk chalk to write on the driveway, write a poem, making a toast to him at dinner with friends etc. Get creative with your selflessness!

Fun stuff coming up this week!!  I love to be creative!   I've already got some ideas floating around my head :)  I'll share them after I actually do them since my man reads my blog and I'd rather everything was a surprise.  I can't wait to see what Courtney suggests to expand my creativity a bit!

So - share with me - how did it go for you this week?  Are you making sure to praise your man every single day?  I hope so - 'cause this is lots of fun!!  

If you haven't jumped in yet - please do so now and make sure you let me know :)

25 Days of Praise

On my last week of the first week of praising your man - here's a story I want to share.

This week, Elyse & Marty were headed over to Kroger.  I think Marty had just picked E up from work.  There was a homeless man sitting there.  As homeless situations go - E was crying.  I love that about my kids - they can't stand to see a homeless person - it rips them up.  They really hate it.

Marty saw him, and began to drive on when he felt the nudge of the Holy Spirit.  He turned around, rolled down his window and asked the man if he would like something to eat.  The man eagerly replied yes!  Marty and E headed over to Wendy's and bought him some hot food and delivered it to the gentleman.  E could hardly contain herself.

I share this carefully - not wanting the recognition to be here on earth for Marty.  Yet - this is something I love about him.  He is always - always - always - eager - and ready - and willing - to stop and help.  I, on the other hand, can be controlled by my fears and drive on by - missing the blessing God may have for me.

On Facebook, a friend shared this:   A pessimist, they say, sees a glass of water as being half empty.  An optimist sees the same glass as half full - but a giving person sees a glass of water and starts looking for someone who might be thirsty.

Today, I want to say thank you to the man who looks, who sees, and then who gives.  You make me more proud than you know babe.  You have taught our kids well.  The compassion they hold for others often comes from you.  Thank you for teaching me as well.  I love you.

25 dias de alabanza

Tee hee.  Do any of my readers know what that title says?  Well from the picture below - you've probably guessed it!  It's time for 25 days of praise!!

In honor of our bilingual (sorta) title today - let me share another terrific tidbit about my tremendous man.  If not for Marty - I would have never fallen in love with everything foreign.  I'm serious.  It was Marty who introduced me to foreign foods, beautiful people and extraordinary cultures.  His love became mine.  I grew up in a home where racism was taught and lack of education and experience as well as fear of the unknown left me weary of anything un-American.  Oh how far I have come.  I love my man for showing me what it's like to fall in love with all of God's beautiful creation.  Now - I'm more comfortable sitting in a room full of culture, languages and color than I am sitting in a room full of people like me.

SO :-)  Shout out to my tall, dark and incredibly handsome man for making my life far more interesting than it would have been had I stuck to the antique stupidity in which I was raised :-)

PS - Here's a picture of us for my new readers.  He's just so blasted cute :-)  ESPECIALLY in a tux.  This was on a trip to the Bahamas, courtesy of my in-laws a couple of years back.  The hairdo I'm sporting was awesome - and one of the most painful things physically I think I've ever endured - lol!!  And my hair fell out by handfuls when I pulled it out... :)

Praise Singing

Day 2 of 25 days of Praise!

Let's see!!  The post said to think of something specific.  I posted on Facebook that I'm thankful my man runs out in the middle of the freezing cold night to get all the junk I manage to leave in the car and end up needing in the night -  lol.  But I think I'll have to post something a little different here!

I'm thankful he puts up with me!  Seriously - I know I'm all nice, sweet, gentle, meek, mild, lacking in strong opinions, calm, cool AND collected on my blog ( l.o.l. ) but in "real" life - I can be - uh - difficult.  I'm working on it but just be thankful YOU don't have to put up with my mood swings, strong options and quick to anger/quick to speak ways in YOUR home :)  Kidding but I can be a selfish person and I can be moody and short tempered.  My husband - anything but.  He truly is patient and kind and super de duper tolerant :)

I love you babe!  Thanks for putting up with me for all these years.  I couldn't do life without you :)