Happiness Project - March - Week 2

Review:

March is boost energy month/focus on health.  Week 1 brought the end of my pop drinking, Mt. Dew guzzling days.  Happy to report, I am still pop free, now 14 days.  I have to admit - this weekend - rough.  I wanted a dew so bad.  Little man came out of the trade fair (local event), got in the car with a can of Mt. Dew in his hands, set it on the seat, spilled it, and handed it to me so he could clean it up.  UN - FAIR!  That was all it took to start the craving and I battled it the rest of the weekend!  However, I did not cave - lol!!  Week 2 was to add exercise.  I was hoping this step would help alleviate some of the exhaustion that not drinking pop was causing.  Well. It might have worked - but I would not know - because - I did not do it.  I did exercise one day, but failed to exercise 3 days as planned.  I think (I hope) it will become easier and easier as the forecast this week shows that I will be able to take it outside - increasing the possibility that I will actually DO it.  In fact, we're predicted to hit 50 - which means - the bike is coming out.  So - success week one, fail week two.

Future:

This week we add eating a clean breakfast.  I'm not a breakfast eater at all.  My blender broke and I really need a new one - but it's not in the budget.  That means this week is going to be tougher than I thought because I'll have to actually cook - which stinks.  I do love a good smoothie and smoothies are a great way to alleviate the sugar craving once you go sugar free - but no smoothies for me.  Anyway, I will stop whining now about my busted blender and non-smoothie week and tell you that I did eat a clean breakfast this morning.  I took a potato, sliced it up real thin, added some onion, cooked that in some EVOO (extra-virgin olive oil) and then added a couple of eggs.  Actually - it was extremely yummy and guilt free.  That's always a plus!  We'll see how the remainder of the week goes.  I'll also plan on adding that exercise in that I didn't accomplish last week.  Sooner or later, that must become a permanent part of my life as well - so there's no time like the presence.


How about you?  Have you taken any steps this week/month to boost your energy?  If so, I'd love to hear about it!

Happiness Project - Boost Energy

Well folks - unlike last month - I have been very intentional about this month - boost energy.  Let's review and talk about this upcoming week.

Review - Week one - no pop

I am happy - and proud - to say - I am pop free.  I have not had a Mountain Dew in 7 days.  If I was honest - only once was it difficult.  It was beginning to make me sick - every time I drank it, my stomach hurt and the heart burn was horrid.  It's been NICE to be free of that this week!!  Do I miss it?  A little - but it hasn't been half as difficult as I thought it would be.  I have focused on NOT focusing on it!!  I found it difficult when Marty and I had free time.  It was such a habit to go grab a .59 cent dew from Circle K, using our change jar.  It was entertainment for me - cheap entertainment.  But - hey - I figure - this week alone - we've probably saved at least 20.00 if you count all the times I wasn't the only one who would go grab a pop or treat.  I will continue on the no Mt. Dew thing this next week.  One of my 40 in 40 goals is to be pop free for 60 days - I have 53 days left.  I will say no caffeine has left me exhausted people!  I'm not a coffee drinker and I can't say no pop has boosted my energy yet.  I know it will result in that in the end - but for now - it's tired this girl out!


Looking forward - Exercise

Gulp.  I am an all or nothing exerciser.  Either I go all out and do something like P90X (and almost kill myself might I add) or I do nothing.  I am working hard at resigning in my head that I will STICK to what I said in my happiness project goals - 3 days - 20 minutes each day.  Now, I know that needs to increase.  I realize that.  Yet, I'm working on making healthy choices permanent habits - so I need to start off with something more reasonable, manageable, and something I know I can accomplish.  Once I make that a habit, then I can add more.  I have a nice bike and trainer (the thing you stick your bike on so you can ride indoors - a necessity where we live) and I'm going to drag those out and that's what I plan on doing.  Also thinking about going over to the Y and signing up for a water aerobics class.  That's just a thought at this point - but it's something I once enjoyed doing and gave us because I didn't consider it "difficult" or "intensive" enough (and now I do nothing!).  We have a family membership at the Y I got when I worked there - we get the membership dirt cheap.  Jon uses the Y quite often.  It's stupid for me not to.  I'm humiliated to get in a suit at this weight in front of people I used to work with - but whatever.  I need to get over that and just do it because I enjoy it.  Once it gets nice out, I'll take my biking outside.  I can honestly say I LOVE bike riding.  I wish we had an extensive trail system here - or sidewalks - but we don't.  I can drive to a nice park though and use their trails and those are good enough.

I have not stepped on a scale to see if the no pop thing has resulted in any weight loss.  My goal is to not focus on the scale this month.  That's enough for now.  At the end of the month, I may do that - but right now, I don't want to become disappointed, discouraged - which always results in giving up.  One week at a time - one day at a time if necessary.

What about you?  Have you been doing anything this month to improve your overall health?  Leave me a comment and tell me what you find helps to boost your energy.

March - boost energy

I failed in February - sorta - on my happiness project.  However - I must move forward and not dwell on my lack of being consistent in February.  It's not that I didn't do it - I just didn't pay attention if that makes any sense.  I didn't focus, make it a priority.

So - to help me be a tad bit more focused in the month of March - I'll ask you for some help!

March is boost energy month.  More specifically - focus on my health - or lack thereof :)  Here are the things I will be focusing on:

Week 1 - no pop
Week 2 - no pop & exercise 30 minutes 3 times a week
Week 3 - no pop, exercise, and eat a clean breakfast
Week 4 - no pop, exercise, eat clean break, and take a multivitamin & fish or krill oil

As I am that all or nothing type of girl I've mentioned before - I do have fish oil in my cupboard from forever ago (does that stuff have an expiration date??) and I have already incorporated into the menu for the next 2 weeks an eat clean breakfast.  However - this week - week 1 - my sole focus will be no pop.  That is going to be hard enough.  I'll try to eat a clean breakfast and remember the multivitamin - but no matter what - no pop.  60 days is my goal.  60 full days without a dew.

You got that right - I'm gonna drink a lot due between now and March 1st :)

Need your help!  Keep me accountable.  Ask me - bug me.  Please!!  I'll be honest I promise :)

Be Gretchen

"Be Gretchen (the author)" is in the Happiness Project book I've been telling you about.  I read that statement a week ago, but it's just now settling into my spirit.

"Be Gretchen" is the authors way of saying she needed to be herself.  She wanted to figure out who she was and remain true to that person.

It's slowly but surely giving me some freedom in my life.  I can't say I'm always good at "being Tami".  I find myself wishing I was someone else - or rather had traits others have.  I wish I was more like my husband - spontaneous and goofy.  I wish I was more like my daughter - uncaring of what people think of her.  I wish I was more like my son - athletic and small in stature.  I wish I had hair like Stacey's (yes Stacey, I envy your hair - lol!!). I wish I was more like so and so - unafraid of using the talents God has given them publicly.  I wish I was more like so and so - more gifted musically than myself.  I wish I was more like so and so who enjoys exercise and being healthy and fit.  I wish, I wish, I wish.  I wish I wasn't so quick tempered, I wish I was skinny, I wish I had money to blow, I wish I could run marathons, I wish I was great at home decorating, I wish I had finished college, I wish I had more motivation in life.  I spend a lot of time thinking "WHEN I finally lose the weight, or WHEN I can afford to get my hair permed or WHEN I...whatever - fill it in" THEN I will be happy!

Wrong.

This weekend - the phrase - Be Gretchen - hit home.

I am not a lot of things - but I am equally - a lot of other things.

I enjoy reading.  I love playing around on the computer.  I love bike riding, long walks in nature.  I love flowers and willow trees and elephants. I love the beach, I enjoy travel, other cultures.  I love new foods.  I had thyroid cancer and my metabolism - although I have massive room for improvement - but I will never be 120 pounds again - and that's okay.  I am a nice person, I enjoy encouraging people.  I love photography.  I am a spitfire at times.  I am fiercely loyal to those I love.  I am never going to be someone who likes roller coasters, who feels comfortable in front of large groups of people.  I am never going to run a marathon or compete in the Tour De France.  Although I LOVE my friends - I will always prefer a weekend with my hubby and kids - it's just me.  I will always be a little private and shy in person.  I have always been, and will always be, a person who works hard at staying out of the limelight - a wallflower - and that's okay.  I will never have a home fit to be in a magazine - my house will always be lovingly lived in.  I like rap music, I play the clarinet, candles make me happy.

I am me.  I don't need to be anything but what God made me.  It's okay to be who you are.  Accept it, embrace it - and then run with God in it.  I am going to work really hard at accepting myself for who I am.  There is always room for growth - God never intended us to be stale and dormant - but I am going to start loving where I am at in life in this moment and stop wishing I was more like someone else.  No more.

Be Tami.

Let it go

This has been a theme ever since I started reading The Happiness Project.  It's been a cranky kind of week and although I would like to tell you I've been working hard at my first week goal of The Happiness Project which states "Think before you speak when your upset or annoyed" - the reality is - I've failed miserably.  Which is kind of funny because actually - BEFORE I typed that out and posted it on my blog, I was working on it and doing rather well!  Accountability will kill 'ya :)  Just kidding.

I've had plenty of opportunities to practice "Let it go".  It keeps running through my head over and over again.

Why is it so easy to become frustrated with people and situations in life?  Why is it so difficult NOT to take things seriously all the time??

Philippians 4:8 states:
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.

I think if I spent more time focusing on those things - noble things, true things, right and pure things, beautiful things - then maybe "Let it go" wouldn't be so difficult.  If we focus on the positive - I think it's easier to be a positive person.  On the flip side - if we focus on the negative - we are more likely to be a negative person.

Although "Let it go" is a GOOD thing (vs. blowing up and getting all stressed out) - I think I've got to go deeper.  Why even get to the "let it go" stage?  Focus on Jesus more and then maybe life's irritations would be so - well - irritating.

What do you think?

Still lovin' this book!

I am continuing to read The Happiness Project this week.  I'm telling you - this chick and I - are waaayy to much alike.  I do believe we were separated at birth.  She just cracks me up.

Okay - some more sweet quotes from the book (go buy it - you will not regret it.  I'm bummed my copy is a library copy, meaning it has to go back and I can't mark it all up).

In her chapter "Remember Love" (on marriage):

"Happy people generally are more forgiving, helpful, and charitable, have better self-control, and are more tolerant of frustration than unhappy people, while unhappy people are more often withdrawn, defensive, antagonistic, and self-absorbed.  Oscar Wilde observed, 'One is not always happy when one is good; but one is always good when one is happy'."

"Whatever love I might feel in my heart, others will only see in my actions."

"On the night of the party, before everyone was due to arrive at 6:30 p.m., I began my anxious last-minute tidying.  My mother loves to entertain and from her I inherited a propensity to preparty jitters, which we call 'hostess neurosis'; experienced family members know to drift out of my sight..." (CRACKED me up - that is ME ALL the way!  Finally - a name for the psychosis!)

Commenting on Week of Extreme Nice (read the book):  "It's not right that I show more consideration to my friends or family than to Jaime, the love of my life." (I HATE when I see this in others - yet I realize - I am this person.  Must be why it annoys me so much in other people)

"Too often I focused on the things that annoyed me:  Jamie postponed making scheduling decisions; he didn't answer my e-mails; he didn't appreciate what I do to make our lives run smoothly.  Instead I should have thought about all the things I love about him.  He's kind, funny, brilliant, thoughtful, loving, ambitious, sweet, a good father, son, and son-in-law, bizarrely well informed in a wide range of subjects (lol, so Marty it ain't even funny), creative, hardworking, magnanimous.  He kisses me and says 'I love you,' every night before we go to sleep, he comes to my side at parties and puts his arm around me, he rarely shows irritation or criticizes me.  He even has a full head of hair"  (Like I said, mucho similarities!)

"As the days went by, I did feel a bit of resentment when Jamie never seemed to notice that he was the winner of the Week of Extreme Nice."  (I can so see myself thinking this!)

And that's all the quotes for today folks!  At least for the next couple of hours :)  I do love this book and I am so glad for wherever I saw it (on someones blog I think) in the first place.  It's really making me think!  She talks, repeatedly, about how she shouldn't expect praise or recognition.  It has taken me a while to realize "WOW - that's ME!"  I get really ticked off when people - those in my house particularly - are not falling on their faces in gratefulness for all the stuff I do.  I realize I am a praise sucker - I eat it up big time - but I should never expect it.  I should always give and give and give some more and expect nothing in return.  It's called being a servant of Christ.  If I want the glory here - I'll miss out up there.

Anyway - READ THE BOOK - it's amazing!!

Happiness Project

I've never done this before - but if you want to join me on My Happiness Project - you can link up below.  I hope this works!

Basically, linking up just says your going to work on creating your own Happiness Project.  Doesn't have to be as detailed as mine.  You can do it for a week, for a month, for whatever.  It's up to you! If joining is going to cause you UNhappiness - well then, that's a problem.  I love checking out new blogs and seeing what others are up to - so link up with me, no matter how short your happiness project is :)

What do you think?  Link below if you want to join!

My Happiness Project

WARNING - SUPER LONG POST! This will be broken down into shorter posts at a later date.  I needed to put this all out here so I had it to refer back to!  For now, you might just want to read February and then worry about the rest later - unless your looking to create your own Happiness Project - then you can use this to get ideas.  I apologize for the length - it will not always be this way!  At the beginning of each month, I will re-post just that month to save us all a major amount of time!

If you read my previous post, you'll know what this is all about.  If not, go HERE and you'll see what I'm talking about!!

This is a rough draft subject to change!  This is what I've come up with so far. 

February - In honor of Valentines Day - I'll use what Gretchen uses and call this month Remember Love/ Marriage. 

Week 1 - Think before you speak when you are upset or annoyed.  Don't just say what comes to your mind.  Trust me - this one will be a challenge for me!
Week 2 - Praise your man every day.  This is already a work in progress - so continue on!
Week 3 - Continue Monday night dates.
Week 4 - Become the servant instead of always being the one served.

March - Boost Energy (Lord knows this is an area in need of massive improvement)

Week 1 - Exercise 3 days a week / 30 minutes per day
Week 2 - Say YES to physical activity.  I can't tell you how many times a day my son wants to play some crazy game that involves punching/hitting/kicking/wrestling/throwing/tackling/pain.  I try to get out of this as often as possible.  No more.  It's time to suck it up and say yes.
Week 3 - Eat a clean breakfast.  Small steps here people, small steps!
Week 4 - Take a multivitamin daily.  Actually - how about just take my meds consistently??  I am SOOO bad at this!!  Take my meds AND take a good multivitamin every day!

April - Contemplate Jesus (this may actually be something I'm already doing or will do sooner - but this is the month we'll really focus on it with no distractions)

Week 1 - Read the bible every day - no exceptions
Week 2 - Purchase or get from the library a new devotional book and use it
Week 3 - Everyday learn a new worship song
Week 4 - Purchase or get from the library a couples devotional and start using it together.  Pray together.

May - In honor of Mother's Day - Lighten Up/ Parenting Month

Week 1 - Play when asked.  Games, basketball - whatever - but play.  I know this is stupid - but I did not grow up "playing'.  Playing has been and will always be a difficult concept for me.  Sometimes I'm just plain inept in this way.  I need to learn to play.  Even at 17 and 14, they need me to play.
Week 2 - STOP whatever you are doing - reading - on the computer - cleaning - cooking - whatever - and listen.  Really listen.  Respond.  Let them see you are listening.
Week 3 - Think before you speak harshly.  When they make you crazy - don't react.  Stop.  Shut up.  Listen.  Try to figure out what's REALLY going on.  Then respond without being harsh.  Firm, not harsh.
Week 4 - Shamelessly stolen from the book - Be a treasure house of happy memories.

June - School ends this month which means the house goes to trash. Well, not this time.  June, we're gonna focus on the house.

Week 1 - No piles of laundry.  Keep. up. with. the. devil. laundry.
Week 1.5 - Plant flowers.
Week 2 - Buy or make something beautiful for our home. 
Week 3 - Make it smell wonderful.  Nothing better than a beautiful smelling home!
Week 4 - Clean the sink before you go to bed.

July - SUMMER!  YEE HAW!!  In honor of summer - July is dedicated to:  Be serious about play!

Week 1 - Complete a crafty craft.  Something fun.  Include the kids.  Make it messy, but make it fun! 
Week 2 - Be silly!  Much like not growing up playing - I also did not grow up being silly.  Learn to be SILLY!!  Any suggestions??  This is one I'm gonna have to research!
Week 3 - What do you find fun?  Figure it out.  What tickles your fancy and makes you feel like a kid at Christmas in anticipation of doing it?  Find it - and do it!
Week 4 - Ride a roller coaster.  Yikes.  Did I just say that??  I hate them.  But, in honor of my daughter leaving for school in one month - I will. ride. a. coaster.  of my choosing - but bigger than the iron dragon!

August - Start of soccer season.  Stressful time for me.  Also the time when I will drop my first born child off at college.  So this month - I'm going to focus on pursuing a passion.  Something I love.  Something to distract me from 2 very difficult things.

Week 1 - Keep playing my clarinet!  Instead of wanting to punch a wall in frustration or cry all the way home from Minneapolis - dive into the clarinet.  Play it until your lip bleeds and you've thrown all those emotions into it like the old days.
Week 2 - Write, write, and write some more.  Put some more time into writing that book.  It's long over-due.
Week 3 - Take pictures.  Find beautiful places, beautiful people and take a lot of pictures.  Find the peace and photograph it.
Week 4 - Sign up for a digital photography class.

September - Kids back in school means time to focus on Friendship!!  Plus, in the heat of soccer season and my first born being off at school - I'm going to need some shoulders to cry on, some women to hold me up and some laughter.  

Week 1 - Make 3 new friends.  Get outside of your comfort zone.  And at least one of them has to be in person and not through the Internet.
Week 2 - Remember birthdays - get them written down and start making some cards.
Week 3 - Find some women to hang out with regularly.  Bible study, book club, bunco.  Anything.  Start it yourself if you have to.  Surround yourself with women who love you, your family, your babies and who lift you up and love you just where you are.  Loyal friends.  Friends who laugh.  Friends I can call in the middle of the night.
Week 4 - Invite the new friends over!  Dinner, above group - whatever - just have them over!

October - Keep a contended heart.  Again - pulling myself through a stressful time!

Week 1 - Laugh out loud.  A lot.
Week 2 - Let it go.  Just let it go.  "It" meaning anything and everything that happens to stress you out.
Week 3 - Create a place of refuge.  On the deck, in the yard, in the house.  Create it.  Put beautiful music there, peaceful surroundings, a place to go. Create it and go there.  Put your bible, your journal, your headphones.   A place to go where you can get away.
Week 4 -  Stolen again from the happiness project.  Act the way I want to feel.  If I want to be happy - act happy.  If I want to be content - act content.  If I want to be peaceful, act peaceful.  If I want to be emptied of stress - empty myself of stress. Act the way I want to feel.

November - Learn to be Grateful.  In honor of Thanksgiving.

Week 1- create a Thanksgiving jar.  Every day write something your grateful for and put it in the jar.
Week 2 - Find someone in worse shape than you - sit and listen, go and help.  Realize how much you have to be grateful for.
Week 3 - Write a letter to the following people to tell them how grateful I am for them:  Marty, Elyse, Jon, My brother & sister, My Mom & Step-Dad, My in-laws, My nieces and nephews and maybe more.
Week 4 - Reflect - read what you have written, reflect on what you have seen.

December - Do it all.  Reflect.  Are you happier?  Is happiness something you can, in fact, work on?

I'm working on creating a button and a link up type of thing if you want to join in.  Give me a few days to figure that out, and then I'll put up a link party and you can jump in!!

The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin

I picked up this book today from the library.  I have already read through part of it - and I love it.  It's a bit academic and if you are not a reader, you might need a dictionary.  However, I swear this girl and I might just be sisters because in some ways, it's like reading my own thoughts in a book.  I have only gotten through the first couple of chapters and - already - have my own happiness project planned.  That will come in the next post.

For now - let me share a few quotes from the first part of the book.

"I had much to be happy about.  I was married to Jamie, the tall, dark, and handsome love of my life; we had two delightful young daughters, seven-year-old Eliza and one-year-old Eleanor; I was a writer, after having started out as a lawyer; I was living in my favorite city, New York; I had close relationships with my parents, sister, and in-laws; I had friends; I had my health; I didn't have to color my hair.  But too often I sniped at my husband or the cable guy.  I felt dejected after even a minor professional setback.  I drifted out of touch with my friends, I lost my temper easily, I suffered bouts of melancholy, insecurity, listlessness, and free-floating guilt."

"I wasn't depressed and I wasn't having a midlife crisis, but I was suffering from midlife malaise - a recurrent sense of discontent and almost a feeling of disbelief."

"But though at times I felt dissatisfied, that something was missing, I also never forgot how fortunate I was.  When I woke up in the middle of the night, as I often did, I'd walk from one room to another to gaze at my sleeping husband tangled in the sheets and my daughters surrounded by their stuffed animals, all safe.  I had everything I could possibly want - yet I was failing to appreciate it.  Bogged down in petty complaints and passing crises, weary of struggling with my own nature, I too often failed to comprehend the splendor of what I had.  I didn't want to keep taking these days for granted.  The words of the writer Colette had haunted me for years:  'What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner.'  I didn't want to look back, at the end of my life or after some great catastrophe, and think, 'How happy I used to be then, if only I'd realized it"

"I needed to think about this.  How could I discipline myself to feel grateful for my ordinary day? How could I set a higher standard for myself as a wife, a mother, a writer, a friend? How could I let go of everyday annoyances to keep a larger, more transcendent perspective?"

"All these thoughts flooded through my mind, and as I sat on that crowded bus, I grasped two thing:  I wasn't as happy as I could be, and my life wasn't going to change unless I made it change.  In that single moment, with that realization, I decided to dedicate a year trying to be happier."

And on that note - the Happiness Project was born.  I haven't read the entire book and I know the author and I don't agree - or at least don't see from the same perspective - spiritually.  However - that does not mean she didn't come up with one brilliant idea.

I'm a goal oriented person and before the first chapter was read, I had already created a chart in my head.  How could I, the person much like the author who was not unhappy but could be happier, really focus - really work towards - making those areas in my life I struggle with - how could I make those - well - happier?

I will share with you in the next post what I have come up with.  There will be a new category - called My Happiness Project where I will place all posts regarding this.  Some I will borrow from the book, some I will make on my own.  Let's see where this takes us!  What do you think??  Wanna jump in??